Freak on a leash

I am totally freaking out! The Deviance Day is already out. The party's out too. Congratulations to Dora. She did a good job as expected. And now it's time to face the monitor and type everything that need to be written. This is going to be a hell hour. Anniversary speech rules this moment. It's the center of my boggling and confusing mind. But it's fine, at least tomorrow is another big celeb to focus on. Time has really elapsed that fast. Now it's Christmas again. School's out. High time to throw academic worries away.

My Poetic Thoughts

Giving meanings to words or ideas expressed is an innate thing to do. But it's up to us how we want it to be given out. I don't know how you would interpret my poems. But I am hoping that it gets even a kernel of your attention. Please read it. Better yet, critic it. So I would know what to improve.
These are the legendary five poems left in my closet. Some are gone with the wind. They're up to no good anyway. I won't bother much if I couldn't find them. I will be writing better ones. Of course, if they meet the standards of being "better". Oh well, these are my poems. Just the title. I will be posting my poems if I have a whole lot of time.
+ Dusk
+ Unleashing a Silhouette
+ Get Wild
+ Abstract of the Inner Core
+ What the weak has to Offer

Poetic Inclination

I should have known then that I do have an intense passion for poetry and literature. Those things matter a lot to me a great deal. Without those, I wouldn't be so contented just trifling the hours away in solitude.

I meant being alone to turning my thoughts into words. That's how much I love poems. I have written some. I got used to express myself through "abstract" poetry. Some would say they don't understand my work, but that's exactly my point. Not to make people perceive it. Mystery. That's it.

I don't know where on earth have I placed the poems I wrote in high school. They have long been gone. I only have five poems left in my box. And I'm planning to post them here in my blog. Let me know what you think about them.

Whenever I'm all alone with my cynical self, I play with words inside my head. That's how I make the most out of my time. It could be the reason why I'd rather be alone. It's better to be alone than to talk about senseless stuffs with senseless people.

Just a while ago, I realized that poetry is actually a form of literature. I nearly forgot. I almost thought that poetry is apart from literature.

I have to confess that I'm a frustrated poet. Truly. I am. And I don't think I'm good as Sylvia Plath or Izumi Shikibu or Margaret Atwood, but at least I have the heart and will to learn more.

It is true that words denote to things and events we experience. They also connote other things. That's how words unfold many aspects in our lives. That's how powerful words are. Abstract ideas are linked with concrete objects to embody an image. Indeed great.

I write through my experiences. Every detail happening in my life gives me all the more reason to love literature. Through it, the existence of these encounters have been made sensible.

Carl Sandberg once said that poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits. This passage tells us how wonderful poems are. It is stronger than any other language. It is created for the desire to escape the logical. Credits to our literature instructor who shared that idea.

Let me share you this poem from Margaret Atwood. The first time I read it, I was really stricken. I'm amazed by how she conveyed an extremely brutal idea in an extremely condensed form.

You fit into me

like a hook to an eye

a fish hook

an open eye.

I just hope I could also be as great as the greatest poets in our history. Well, I'm not really hoping. I'm dreaming.

Exhibition of the Cynical Surface

I want to be independent. Living in an unconventional way. A Bohemian life I guess. I don't want to worry about anything other than myself. Sounds so selfish right? It's so difficult when at the age you're supposed to enjoy your youth, you've been deprived of it. You know what I mean.
Just so you know, I'm trying to think about how it would be when you work while studying. I want to pay for every expenses I have. I just want to do everything on my own. Own money. Own sweat. Own strife.
I have a lot to whine now. All I want to do at the moment is whine, whine, whine. I hate it when I worry. I am such a big worrywart. Just like a man sandwiched by heaven and hell. I hate it.
Uncanny as it may seem bu I really want to be invisible and become a ghost even for only an hour or two. It would be ideal if I'd become one for a lifetime.
Let me just ask this questions. Why should everyone take life seriously? Why should life be this hard? Why should restrictions be present on everything? Of course I do know why. But I'm tired of being so tied down. I have always been tongue-tied, and it got me sick and weary.
How does it feel to have a laid back lifestyle? Someday, I will feel it too. I will be waiting for that moment. I believe in myself. I know I can succeed. My gain will let e go places. I can do everything my own way..someday. The right thing to do, is to just puke this day away.

Pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world,
and it's people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn,
and rise above the flames
Pardon me. Pardon me.
I'll never be the same.

Melodic Thoughts "I swear"

John Michael Montgomery
I see the questions in your eyes
I know whats weighing on your mind
But you can be sure I know my part
cause Ill stand beside you through the years
Youll only cry those happy tears
And though Ill make mistakes
Ill never break your heart

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
Ill be there
I swear
Like the shadow thats by your side
Ill be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
Ill love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

Ill give you everything I can
Ill build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when theres silver in your hair
You wont have to ask if I still care
cause as time turns the page
My love wont age at all

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
Ill be there
I swear
Like the shadow thats by your side
Ill be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
Ill love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
Ill be there
I swear
Like the shadow thats by your side
Ill be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
Ill love you with every beat of my heart
I swear
I swear

Wedding Melodies on Air

I think it's about time to be open to marriage talks. I'm of legal age already and I'm not a kid anymore. Though my parents still execute a romantic relationship ban to us, I think it's not a bad thing when we look forward to have a married life. That's not a sin.
I know marriage is not only about how you love that person. It's not just having a wonderful feeling after the question has been popped. It's actually about a bond that will tie you to greater responsibilities other than your affair with that someone. Marriage is not just about the wedding. It's not just about lying down on a bed of roses with the one you choose to love forever.
But of course talking about weddings make me shiver for some reasons. Why do brides get so high about weddings? That's of course self-explanatory. that ring, their grooms handed them is bound to change their lives for better or for worse.
Though I'm neither a bride yet nor a bride-to-be, I have listed songs I want to be played while I walk down the aisle. My dream wedding is a garden wedding. the flowers,birds and trees all over could make the ambiance more romantic. I want it to be more like a JS Prom.
Let me share you this list of romantic songs. These are the ones I have always listened to whenever I feel like falling in love. I know it does sound cheesy. Let me get a life.
The list goes like this:
+ Love song by 311
+ Half Life by Duncan Sheik
+ Hanging by a Moment (acoustic) by Lifehouse
+ The Way You Love Me by Boyzone
+ Love of My Life by Southborder
+ Stigmatized by The Calling
+ Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows
+ Close by Paolo Santos
+ I will follow you into the dark by Deathcab for Cutie
+ Vulnerable by Roxette
+ Knock me off my feet by Stevie Wonder
+ Now and Forever by Richard Marx
+ When you believe by Myra
+ Love will find a way OST Lion King 2
+ I swear by John Michael Montgomery
These are just a few of them. Who would be that lucky man? Find out as he reigns supreme. Make me melt.

The pop movie

TWILIGHT directed by Catherine Hardwicke and written by Stephanie Meyer
It's an undeniably good movie. Not to mention the good looking cast. If you don't control yourself, you end up screaming in the cinema with all other fanatics. They got me secretly insane for two hours. Robert Pattison is really handsome, I must say. He played his character well as well as Kristen Stewart. I even imagined I'm Bella Swan. Oh my!
Their lines really got into my spine. I was on the verge og giggling whenever Edward spoke sweet words to Bella. the Cullens are really irresistible characters. They look very good especially the one who acted as the pitcher in their thunderstorm baseball game. Alice, that's the name.
My favorite scene was when the Cullens treated Bella as part of the family by protecting and rescuing her from James.
"You're like a drug to me"
"I feel so over protective with you"

Decode by Paramore OST: Twilight
How can I decide what’s right,
when you’re clouding up my mind?
I can’t win your losing fight
all the time.

Not gonna ever own what’s mine,
when you’re always taking sides.
But you won’t take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.

How did we get here,
when I used to know you so well?
But, how did we get here?
Well, I think I know how.

The truth is hiding in your eyes,
and it’s hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can’t see
what kind of man that you are;
if you’re a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
on my own.
(I’m screaming, “I love you so.”)
On my own.
(My thoughts you can’t decode.)

How did we get here,
when I used to know you so well? (Yeah.)
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how.

Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools
of ourselves.
Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools
of ourselves.

How did we get here,
when I used to know you so well? (Yeah, yeah, yeah!)
Well, How did we get here
when I used to know you so well.
I think I know...
I think I know...

There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.

So Much Adventure

Adventure means fun. It is a kind that gives us natural high. It has that certain factor that yields excitement and amusement. In a sense, it does make us feel young. No wonder why everybody loves it. So do I.

I am talking about the popular extreme sports. You may not see it on the surface, but I also appreciate sports.

Especially the risky ones. If only I could get involved with those things. But I think everything will fall into place when I graduate. I just have to strive and wait.

Too much for that noble detour, it would indeed be great if we delve on adventure through extreme sports. I guess everyone knows how far these sports have come. Before, it had rarely been practiced because of danger. But time revealed its essence. There is of course a down side. Only a few can afford it.

There are a lot of adventure spots in the country. They offer different sports that make one's visit remarkable. As far as I know, CamSur Watersports Complex has been the hottest recently because of wake boarding.

Celebrities and other wealthy people have their stay there. And it seems that it has become a way to elevate their status. Kidding aside. Isolated cases. I'm not saying everyone.

Zip line adventure is also a must do sport. I think there are a lot of spots who have this kind of sports to offer. Though I've never tried it, I still think it's fun. You get to scream your lungs out as you slide along a zip from end to end. This is a sport that requires you the strength to fight your fear of heights.

What I'm looking forward to try soon is wall climbing. I heard Outland Adventure has this. I just don't know how much it does cost, but I don't care much about it. I can always save up for it. I can't wait to try it. Who wants to come with me? Let's climb!

I also want to try bungee jumping. It's really extreme but I like it. I do want to feel what it's like to jump from the highest peak. I think it does feel good. You'll feel your burdens slowly coming out of you as you jump. This sports suits to all those who have too much angst and distress. This as way to let go of all those negative vibe. How about that?

Have you heard about a bride and her groom who went bungee jumping in their wedding ceremony? Cool! it was actually featured on the news.

White Water Rafting also goes along well with people who have oozing love for adventure. It's like fighting with huge rocks and waves at the same time. It's a dangerous one, so don't be that complacent when you try it out. But it's fun, just like any other extreme sports. You just have to be tough.

As of the moment, there is still a one out of three chance that I can do wahtever I like. My family is in a tight budget. These luxury sports are quite unfriendly with our pockets. But it's not yet too soon though. I certainly hope so.

Emotions of Convention

This is a script of a mime our theater instructor required us to write. And I do think it's not good enough. I wrote this the night before the deadline.

Character
A manly man
Scene
A man watches television in a sala. He drinks beer. He sits in a sofa with his legs crossed, and his arms stretched widely. He hands the remote and finds it hard to select a channel. He leans back and goes on from pressing the remote. He gets irritated as he continues. Then he stops. He moves forward rapidly. He laughs. Hard and deep belly laughs as if someone digs a finger into his sides. He laughs until he falls from the sofa. Then he drinks beer and stops. Again, he changes the channel on and on. Then he pauses. He creeps fast towards the corner of the sofa. He raises his legs and brings them closer. He bites his finger nails showing his fear, great fear. he covers his face with his shaking hands. Then he slowly peeps from the spaces between his fingers and clms down instantly. He gets his glass of beer and drinks. When he returns his sight on the television, he spits the beer. He stares long on the TV. His eyes widen with arousal. He bites his lower lip. He wipes hi sweat and slowly stands up. He moves his head from left to right, like what boxers do to get ready. He spreads his arms and does what he sees n TV. He dances. He sways his butt smoothly with pouting lips. He turns round and round beautifully.

Tunes for my Funeral

Death is something that we should also think about at times. But of course it's not something we should look forward to. It's just that we should be prepared when it knocks on our door. I know it's so dreadful just thinking about it, but it's still going to happen no matter how we fear it. It comes like a thief in the night.
I am not afraid to die. Just not now. I would love to be in heave. I have a lot to ask God. I want to know why I ever lived. Death, for me, is not the total end. It's the beginning of another life somewhere else. Better be good. It's not death that's supposed to scare us, it's not being in heaven. Am I saying it right?
You might think I'm a weirdo but I've listed some songs that I want to be played on my funeral. I don't want songs that are too conventional. Those that are "registered songs for death" should be banned now.
Hindi kita malilimutan. Hindi kita pababayaan...da-da-da..That's so used! Those kind of songs get into my nerves. They're so out of the zone.
These songs that I prepared should be played instead. For the people who love me, don't ever ignore this or else I'll haunt you.

+ Fellowship Songs:
- So Close
- Through it All
- Mighty to Save
- Heart of Worship
- Potter's Hands

+ My Favorite Love Songs:
- I'm never Gonna Say Goodbye (Passage)
- Tattoed on My Mind (D'Sound)
- Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)
- All I Ask of You (Phantom of the Opera)
- Music of the Night (Phantom of the Opera)

+ Praise Songs:
- Now that You're Near
- Salvation is Here
- Tell the World
- For All You've Done
- I Wanna Know You Today

Tagalog and Videoke Funeral tunes are prohibited in my funeral. They should vanish and crap out.

Single

I know it's lonely to be Single. To be deprived of love and affection by the one you thought who should care about you. It's difficult to be Single. Not to feel the warmth of a mother's comfort again.

It has the color of ash. Eyes as gray as the stormy sky. It's so tiny. Still weeks old I think. I don't know if it's a male or a female. All I know is that, it's a little kitten, we all love in our home.

My mother named it Single.Why is it so? Because when my mom saw it hiding from the bushes in a street near her office, it was all alone. My mom thought she should get it. Something inside her told her to adopt the kitten peeping from the tall grasses.

We love cats. And we love Single that much. I wonder what Single feel being with us. Without its mother. Every time we open the door, it runs. Showing its excitement to meet its foster family.

we have five cats in our house. Sumiri is the mother of Chester, Edelweiss and Kaoras. Nice names for nice cats. Their father is Argo. Named after a character in a magical television series.

Do you think they'd get jealous if we put too much attention on Single?

Our cats got mad of Single on its arrival. But I think they're adjusting now. I just hope they could feel how hard it is to be like Single.

Single longs for its mother. I knew it. It often sleeps on our lap, thinking we are its mother. We let it drink evaporated milk as a substitute. But I know it will never be enough.

I feel sad whenever I see it sleeping..alone. Do cats feel sad too? Does Single miss its mother? It's painful looking at this little kitten.

There was one moment when I noticed Single just looking blankly at one direction. I wish I could be a cat and talk to it. Will it open up its heart to me if we could talk? I hope it will.

For the kitten named Single, we made a little bed just for you. You are welcome in our home. This house is also yours. Just don't leave a dirt cause papa will surely get mad. Be good ok?

We love you Single. Just looking at you makes us happy. With jut a simple peep you made, you become part of our family.

Once a notable Song...

These songs are a few of those that made a difference among any other. These didn't fail to fade the boredom I feel once in a while. I can't help but be blown away with the lyrics of these songs.
+ To the ends of the earth by Hillsong

this was the theme song of the MVBYF (Mindanao-Visayas Baptist Youth Federation)Camp held two years ago in Kinuskusan, Bansalan. Listen to this and you will realize how great God is.
+ I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

I first had a dose of this acoustic melody in Monster radio two years ago. I heard it again last year when someone played it on guitar. It's actually a nice anthem for romantic solitude. But when everybody else started to get hooked to it, I began to get over it.
+ At the beginning by Richard Marx and an unknown girl


A familiar song in high school, isn't it? It is, For everyone who believes that life is a road that you wanna keep going. This is the song to beat. I miss high school just by listening to this. I remember when we played this in our science camp, everyone got so emotional. I will never get fed up with this song.
+ The Remedy by Jason Mraz

A feel-good song for all sorts. I can see it being played while having a joy ride with friends. If you know the lyrics, then you get along well with Mr. A-Z's play on words. You're in. Others out.
+ Love Song by 311

Whenever the intro strikes, I couldn't help but be glued to my seat. It's actually the only 311 song I like. But just recently, a friend told me that it's just a remake from a band I don't even know. Who cares.
+ Only One by Yellowcard


As far as I can remember, this was one of the first rock songs I ever appreciated. Alongside Incubus' Megalomaniac, Nickelback's Faraway, Story of the Year's Anthem of our Dying Day, Trapt's Echo, Dashboard Confessional's Hands Down, so on and so forth. The rest is history.
+ Sleep with Butterfly by Tori Amos


I dedicated this song to myself the very first time I heard it in NU 107. Though I've never really memorized this song, I still like it that much. Of course I know what the song means. Yeah right. At first you may not like it right away but I don't really give a damn if you dislike it anyway.
+ The Reason by Hoobastank

This was the song which made me realize I can sing. I love singing rock songs. But I don't know how to scream. Just those alternative rock songs.

I rarely hear my favorite songs over the airwaves. That's exactly what I like about it. I love songs that are out of reach. I hate it when everyone sings it. The sense of thrill grows dim whenever It's been played over and oevr.

Critical Analysis on My Papa's Waltz

My Papa's Waltz is a poem created by an award-winning poet, Theodore Roethke. It contains four stanzas that have four lines each. It consists of a rhyme scheme. A child is the one who speaks in the poem.

The child talks about his father who got drunk. The first line shows us that the father is really that intoxicated. It is because when someone drinks a little liquor, it doesn't really affect the breath that much. But the father in the poem has already drunk too much. It is supported by the second line, “Could make a small boy dizzy.”

What plays a big impact on the first line is actually the whiskey. Drinking just a shot of it could make you a bit tipsy. it is a strong, distilled liquor made from grain. maybe the reason why the author used whiskey as the liquor drunk by the father, is that it is one of the most popular of alcoholic beverages.

But I hung on like death. this line connotes the passivity of the child towards his father. the child's passive reaction could mean that he's afraid that his father might get so irritated if he reacts. Of course, when someone's full of alcohol intake, he could do something out of his control. He could be that violent. the child just became watchful of his actions to get rid of his father's wrath. One more reason could be that the child has already gotten used to his drunkard father. he knew then what would be the scenario whenever his father gets drunk.

The child's passivity is associated with death basically because a corpse doesn't have life anymore. A dead person is already passive, just like the child. He doesn't have the strength to retaliate.

Such waltzing was not easy. With this line, we could anticipate that something could be going on, aside from the father being drunk. it can be noticed that the author uses irony.

Based on context, the author used the dance waltz to indicate that the father might have gotten that intense because of the whiskey. The father's situation might have led him to a terrible agitation to the point of losing his self-control. I can picture out that because Roethke used waltz as an action, the father abused his child by dragging or pushing or whatever violent acts that are somewhat similar to the actions when doing waltz.

History says that waltz was once criticized and opposed to by moralists because of its closer hold and rapid turning movements. religious orders also regarded it as vulgar and sinful. An English magazine Belgravia also stated that waltz is a wicked dance.

Such notion about waltz might be the reason why Roethke decided to incorporate the said dance in his poem. The dance was used as the object of irony. It made readers picture out the metaphor involved. It is not actually used as vague, instead it adds up a sense of thrill among the readers.

The second stanza of the poem begins with the metaphorical description of what the father's drunkenness turned out to be. We romped until the pans slid from the kitchen shelf. That clearly showed the violence involved. One can not destroy anything around if he doesn't become so wild.

The line also showed the dominance of the father. The child and his mother did not look up to him, instead they fear him. Maybe they're thinking that they should just stay calm as possible. If they freak out, the man of their house could kill them. This is supported by the line, “My mother's countenance could not unfrown itself.”

If the mother fights back, then this could all the more be the reason to trigger the father's agitation. the mother showed her fear towards her husband who turned out to be abusive.

The third stanza elaborates more on the physical abuse done by the father to his child. The hand that held my wrist was battered in one knuckle. At every step you missed my right ear scraped a buckle. these lines describe the harsh acts received by the child. By these lines, we could say that there is a child abuse happening. This could eventually traumatize the child at risk.

Just like the third stanza, the last one also talks about the physical violence. the harm done by the father includes hitting the child's head until they reached the bed room. Since I assumed that the child in this poem is a boy, it could be that the father still beats the child until it already hurts that much. Clinging to something when you're totally hurt is natural among many of us. for an instance, when you're tooth is being removed of course it will hurt a lot especially without anaesthesia. You tend to cling to something nearby or hold something tighter to release pain or tension. I could say that the child must be very by then since he clings to his father's shirt.

If my assumption is wrong, and the child is a girl, the last two lines might be of the sexual abuse part. The word bed connotes something sensual. It is undeniable that whenever we hear the word bed, we associate it with sex.

With the constant reading of this poem, I guess i can conclude that this poem is a commentary on child abuse. This is a poem that speaks for those abused children. It is a dramatic poem that helps us understand the situation of these children. It makes us feel the grief of those suffering abuse.

All images in this post are not intended for copyright infringement.

Common Friendster Headshots

It's undenianble that friendster still get everyone by storm. Every teener, I think, still gets hooked by this virtual phenomenon. It connects you to people you've never met , you have met and you will meet! Sounds cool, doesn't it?

Pictures are famous attractions when you log in to this site. If you don't have one then you're a dork, a loser. Well that's what is basically the reason why everybody's still in touch with friendster- to show off their poses and grins to the people around the globe. I have here something about the trend of the pictures used as head shots or primary photo in friendster. This is basedon my observation anyway. Tell me if you agree with me:

+ Pictures with cups showing off where you're hanging out
+ Pictures taken at the mirror
+ Pictures in PhotoFunia
+ Pictures assumingly in a magazine
+ Pictures in top view
+ Pictures showing off the legs (grosse!)
+ Pictures showing off Havaianas slippers (Hahaha..i know someone! hahaha)
+ Pictures that are supposed to be candid shots
+ Pictures where the subject wears sun glasses
+ Pictures of lovers kissing
+ Pictures from the back
+ Pictures showing off what you ate
+ Pictures showing off the cleavage
+ Pictures taken when you smoke or drink
+ Pictures taken in People's Park! (Hahahaha)
+ Pictures from the web cam (hate it!)
+ Pictures of lovers cuddling
+ Pictures with an emo pose
+ Pictures taken when you lie down (As always!)
+ Pictures taken like a model from a mag (like FHM..actually!)
+ Pictures in Sepia or any other effects

All of these are shots taken from cell phone cameras or digital cam. Studio pictures are already out. They are only for the ones who can afford to have their photos taken there. And besides, when you take your own picture, you have the whole lot of effort to do whatever you want to look like in it. Whether wacky, attractive, sensual, lively or a lot more. Let me know if you still want to dd something on my list. Don't hesitate to drop a comment.

My Papa's Waltz

The whiskey on your breath
Could make a small boy dizzy;
But I hung on like death:
Such waltzing was not easy.

We romped until the pans
Slid from the kitchen shelf;
My mother’s countenance
Could not unfrown itself.

The hand that held my wrist
Was battered on one knuckle;
At every step you missed
My right ear scraped a buckle.

You beat time on my head
With a palm caked hard by dirt,
Then waltzed me off to bed
Still clinging to your shirt.

-----a poem by Theodore Roethke------

Going places through words

I love books a lot as much as I love dresses and any other girl stuff. i would rather read books than to be with someone who talks a lot about senseless matter. Besides, who would want to be with those sorts? They are undeniably irritating, suffocating. Does that make sense?
Books create an image that I can never imagine without it. They help me dream of more things that are out of the existing. They create a certain realm that only I can enter. It's kind of amusing though that I love books but I never get to read them more often. I just hope they won't get mad at me cause I'm not giving them most of my time.
What I can't help but notice is that, there's this annoying repellent force whenever I start to leaf through the pages of the books I read. I can't do reading books in just a matter of hours or even minutes. Maybe it would just take some getting used to. I must admit that I still am not that into books that much. But since I do love books, I can manage to change my attitude towards it. It's just a matter of giving out my heart into it.

Fit in fellas (Jeans)

I love these jeans. They flaunt the form of the legs. I will never like flair pants again. I think they really look awful now. If I wear it, I pair it with sneakers to avoid looking like a fashion victim when you wear it with flip flops and sandals. Tight pants or what we all call the skinny jeans is still in demand at the present. And I think it will linger. Girls, especially the slim ones look really attractive with it. But of course these pants are lovelier to look at when you're in fit blouses, not with shirts. That's how I think it should be.

These are what you call the skinny fashion jeans. It's getting phenomenal lately. Those ROYGBIV colored pants seemingly swept everyone off their legs, I mean their feet. Even the boys got in the zone now. How about that? Everywhere in the country this trend becomes very prevalent. And I hate it.
Somebody told me she doesn't like looking at girls wearing these kind of skinny jeans because it aches her eye. Well, I agree with her a bit. Not that it disturbs my eyes, but it's on the other angle. Some girls tend to be so OA in pairing these pants with blouses of different color schemes. They don't look nice anymore. They become like a victim of a little girl using different colors in her coloring book. what I mean is, they look so pathetic because for an instance, they pair yellow with violet and their skin tone doesn't match their outfit. They would look like a burned barbie girl. (Kidding aside) Was I too mean for that? Anyway, the bottom line is, don't put a lot of colors on your body if it doesn't look nice with your skin.

Book Currently Read

This book by Mitch Albom is one of the greatest books I've read. Though I'm still not done with it yet. It is definitely a must-read book. It's like when you're leafing through every page of this book, you are watching a movie. That's how well Mitch Albom did the story. Thanks to my sister who made me realize that I almost forgot that I used to read books before. Now, I'm bringing my old self back.

Insanity for Chocolates

I am totally craving for chocolates. The last time I ate one was just 3 days ago. But it was not enough. I still want more. Does someone there share the same passion? Well then we just have to make a move and indulge to what our senses tell us to do. Buy some chocolates! We should not suppress what our tongue demands. Does that sound awful?

As I browsed the web, I found those pictures of sumptuous and mouth-watering sweets. They're so tempting. I couldn't resist them. I could really anticipate that my death should really be blamed to chocolates. Poor chocolates, they're being branded as culprits. This is totally madness!

Don't they look nice? Of course, they do! After this, I might have to shop for chocolates! It's our exam in math later on but I don't seem to care even a bit because of this craze. It's hopeless. Let's scream and blow other's ears out for what we want. CHOCOLATES!

I will never get tired of sweets. They make me happy just delighting my taste buds with their impeccable taste. With just one glance at them, they make me melt. You read it right, I'm the one who melts. Creepy? No it's not. That's definitely what they do to me. They are sensational!

Some say chocolates are aphrodisiac. With just its simple pleasure of its consumption, one could feel sensuality and some sort. I guess I have to agree with that. Because chocolates are as irresistible as seduction right? Is that uncalled for? You just have to have an open mind to accept what I said. [I speak for those whose minds are conserved. I sound like defending now. Poor me :_(

Having Fun Yet?

I got this set of questions from a bulletin. I just thought of posting this too because I have nothing else to do. I just want to keep going while having my free time. I think this will be fun. I love answering questions. It makes me realize a lot of things that I haven't known yet about myself. I should get it on!
I'm tired of:
- everything of everything flowing just exactly the same
I am listening to:
- how people talk endlessly around me
Maybe I should:
- go home early then
I wish:
- the semester ends as soon as possible
Chocolate is:
- such a tempting sensation
I have lost my respect for:
- that someone who plays safe but actually play it rude behind
I last ate:
- creamy beef steak and mango float
The meaning of my display name is:
- mysterious beautiful girl..hahaha spare me!
Love is:
- in my heart..cheesy but true! hahaha
MySpace is:
- good when you're into rock music..there are a lot of rock bands there!
Today:
- I'm worried for my subjects next semester
Tomorrow:
- will be my exam in math
Party:
- is not a very good idea
LASTS:
Last time you cried?
- a few days ago
HAVE YOU EVER:
Dated someone twice?
- "(-_-)"
Lost someone close?
- people do come and go
Been drunk and threw up?
- i'm proud to say i still haven't
THIS MONTH HAVE YOU:
Fallen out of love?
- nope
Met someone who changed your life?
- yes
It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings:
- I'd be in an adrenalin rush..what could that person want to tell me?
What is your favorite thing to eat?
- chocolates and more chocolates
Do you wear Crocs?
- i can't afford it! hahaha I'm practical..
Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
- of course cold weather..
What do you currently hear right now?
- chitchats and questions
What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?
- I don't drink gatorade that much
What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed?
- pillows! 10 pillows will do.. :D
Can you sleep in jeans?
- certainly not
Something you just don't understand?
- why I easily get so pissed
Where were you on July 4th, 2008?
- attending class
Who was the last person you were in a car with?
- my family
Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
- I don't think of annoying people
Do you say "dawg" a lot?
- I don't even know what that means
What was your first thought when you looked at the mirror this morning?
- does my hair look good? hahaha
Do you care what others think about you?
- it's inevitable..yes!
Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
- It could be..
What made you happy today?
- When Ria smiled like Betty la fea..hahaha
How many people do you trust?
- Only a few ones

That's it! It didn't do much but at least I could say it tried to make me think. That's just it. I don't think I made sense posting this but let's just give it a try.

Love Conquers Math

We didn't have our class in Math! It was a very pleasant surprise. This Thursday will be our 3rd long exam. I'm getting seriously pressured. I have to pass this, or else I'm out! My parents are really going to be so mad at me if I fail them the third time around. I pray that God helps me out. I hope my effort works. The fourth time will probably kick me out of UP. Courtesy of my mom. If I won't pass math, I'm going to be transferred to another school. Damned Katrina. That idea stinks. It doesn't smell awesome!
One more month and it's going to be the end of the semester! I can't wait for that. But as I see it, it still is a long way to go. We still have a lot of requirements to accomplish. Not to say the monstrous exams ahead of us! I'm sacred, it gives me the creeps just contemplating about it.
So what do we have to do? Well, as for me, I just have to think about the good memories that might happen during the sem break. That could be a good way to break the odds. I don't want to think about those bloody exams. They just make me day awful!

Not being Loaded to My Central

I had a bad morning. I'm definitely mad. I think I really am a bit rusty at everything now because I'm not feeling emotionally well. I just hope that someone says sorry and make it up to me sooner.
If not, fumes of fury will really exude from my being. Sorry for being too poetic. :D I didn't mean to let that out from me (kidding aside).
Well, I should have known that this day starts off really bad. I don't want to let this happen again. It is actually annoying me while bursting this out from my chest. All I think about at this very hour is irritation, anger, rampage, wrath or whatsoever. I just hope this day ends right. It's not healthy to be thinking of negative thoughts all through the day. I guess I have to say that I'm not an emo. I just feel depressed and angry at this very moment.
This state is pathetic, I have to say. It sickens me a lot airing out my sentiments but look what I'm doing. I'm making myself more upset just thinking about it. Help! I need utmost help! I'm drowning with too much negatives.
Am I over reacting? If so, reach me out and tell me everything. Slap me so I could see the ray. As what Santiago of The Alchemist said, this moment will eventually become just a memory. That piece made me feel better though.

Everything's Changing

I just love Christmas!

I just had my new hair cut. I had it last Saturday. August 30 to be exact. Speaking of the 30th of August, it was only a few days ago. And now, it's already the 3rd of September. Time really flies so fast. I guess we're all having fun that's why we haven't noticed the rush of time.

Three months to go and it's going to be Christmas. Yuletide scent will be wafting all over the world. i am so much excited for that. I love it when everyone's in an adrenaline rush to buy something special for Noche Buena. It's definitely undeniable to be that hopeful that you could receive presents. I really wish I would have even one. =D
If i could get some bucks from my mom or pop, I would have to buy everything that I've always wanted to have at this very moment. Some of them are:

- a pair of new sandals
- rubber shoes
- office eye wear
- new skinny jeans (Herbench)
- Blouses
- and a lot more that my brain can't process right now

I hope this year ends smoothly. I can't afford to have another rough year. It sure got me emotionally stressed the past year. I don't want to let it happen again.

Be at Rest

It's the end of the week! Time to get kicked. Time to say Thank God it's Friday! No other day is better than Friday. I wanna go home and take a rest. I miss my bed and everything that I stare at whenever I get bored. I miss doodling a lot. Writing senseless things just to make the most out of your time. For me it does make sense. It all depends on what we affirm to. remember the theory of concrete affirmation? Thanks to the great philosopher Sir Pavo!

Heard about the Kadayawan festivities lately? It's making a lot of noise around the metro. It's coming up soon. Actually it's kick off celebration will be this Sunday. Am I right or I am right? As far as I know, there will be a lot of activities all over again for the week-long celebration. Some will be Cultural shows, Lumad celebrations, Indak-Indak sa kadalanan, Float Parades, Hiyas ng Kadayawan and many others. We should check them all out. Let us support Philippine festivals. That is to increase the tourism rate in this poverty stricken country. Did I sound so noble? That should account for something.

Yesterday

I had a conversation with the Koreans who came for a cultural show yesterday. they were so friendly. I could attest to that. They notice every single detail that they noticed from you. I think that shows their interest in knowing one person.

I enjoyed talking to them. I was glad that Jovi appreciated my art work when he browsed my sketch pad. They even took a picture of it. That pinkie promise also reminded me of something. That promises are really important for them.

I also tried their Kimchi. It's their national food I guess. Koreans are famous for that. It's so spicy. I think Kimchi is just served as a side dish made to enhance the flavor of our meals. It was made of onions. But Recipe Zaar stated its ingredients and how it's done:

Ingredients

* 1 lb sized head Chinese cabbage
* 2 tablespoons sea salt
* 4 cups cold water
* 1 tablespoon fresh garlic, chopped
* 1 tablespoon fresh ginger, finely chopped
* 1 tablespoon green onion, finely chopped
* 2 teaspoons dried chili pepper flakes
* 2 teaspoons sugar
* 1 tablespoon sea salt

Directions

1
Separate and wash the cabbage leaves.

2
Sprinkle them with the 2 tbsp of salt.

3
Place them in a non corrosive dish (Pyrex) and pour in the 4 cups cold water, cover with plastic wrap and place in fridge over night.

4
The water should cover the leaves if not place a heavy object on them to keep them submerged.

5
After sitting overnight pour off the water and rinse the leaves well, shake out excess moisture. ( I used my lettuce dryer to remove the extra moisture).

6
Mix the garlic, ginger, green onion,chili flakes,sugar & 1 tbsp salt, stir together.

7
Pour 11/2 cups of very hot water over the mixed seasoning.

8
Place cabbage leaves in a large zip lock bag or in a bowl, pour in the seasoning, mix well so the seasoning is on every leaf.

9
Place in the fridge for two days. Flip the bag every time you open the fridge door.

10
To serve cut the leaves into 2" strips and serve as a side condiment.

11
To store pack the cabbage into a jar and store in the fridge it will keep for several days to a week or more.

I hope I could meet them again somewhere. I would love to know their culture more. Knowing different cultures is really one of a kind. I just love talking to people from different races. I love it when I introduce my culture to others and vice versa.

After the conversation we had, i realized how I love my course. Communication arts is really my passion. I will never trade my course for anything better than it, for I think it's the best ever.

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No room for talking trash

I was cross examined. It didn't do any pressure to me except for the extreme coolness of the room. I wasn't able to speak normally because my jaws are trembling. Of course it's not because I was nervous. That was so embarrassing. Good thing they didn't actually notice it. But I'm not quite sure about that.

One more thing I have to let out is that I can rest without worries tonight! Hollers out! Exams for this week are done. This week is really one heck of a tiring week. I had my head ache because it's too drained to think about academics. At last I'm going to have a break at exactly 5:30 this afternoon! Let me hear you scream!

Poise under pressure. That's what I believe in. Despite everything sickening me these past few days, I still am in the mood to freshen myself up. That will never be omitted in my list.

This day is a seventh heaven for me. I think I ought to say that. And you ought to know that! Get your freak on fellas!

I'm in a GOTH mood

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I am so fascinated with the gothic air I'm breathing in today. It's like black sets my spirits high at the moment. I'm gonna try wearing that fashion soon. But I think it's going to be nice with a camera in hand. That is to capture the moments of your goth mood, right?

i have researched some dose of information about goths and i found out it is not just a mere fashion. It is actually religion. Goths believed that they just see beauty and it's coming destruction at the same time. creepy isn't it? But of course, it's not that I'm biased. It's just that I don't think like them. I just don't see myself believing them.

They also quoted that goth is the ability to find art where art seems to be lacking. That profound passage is really striking. Goths just shows how they appreciate something where everyone seems to dislike it.

R.G.Green also said that when Goth dies, God laughs. I found this quote very funny! Could that be true?

A few reporters have also associated Goth with Satanism, violence, white supremacy and intolerance. The implication was that the Goth culture had been the cause of the alleged perpetrators' obsession with revenge, and thus is at least partly responsible for the homicides.

Some factors that are commonly observed are:

* Its unique music, art and literature.

* The use of extreme black clothing, light colored makeup, unusual hair styles, body piercing, bondage items, etc.

* A fascination with medieval, Victorian and Edwardian history.

* Wearing of symbols such as a Christian cross; an Egyptian ankh or "Eye of Ra," or "Eye of Horus;" a Wiccan pentacle, a Satanic inverted pentacle. etc.

* Goths tend to be non-violent, pacifistic, passive, and tolerant. Many in the media have mistakenly associated Goth with extreme violence and hatred of minorities, white supremacy, etc.

* Many Goths write about being depressed. Followers seem sullen and withdrawn, when in public. They are often much more "happy and carefree in the company of [other] Goths." Examples of depression are:

"Tigriss," commenting on her own life, writes: "So my gothic persona fit me quite well. My black clothing and dark music aptly reflected my own depression, pain, and anger which was what I made most of my life about. Most of my goth friends had dysfunctional families and troubled childhoods as mine. We could identify with each other through our dark make-up and painful pasts." 

Goodbye July

It's the end of July! next week is definitely a hell week for me. It's my exam week. That's from Tuesday to Friday! I've got to study hard this weekend. I must pass those dreaded exams or else I'll be dead. But despite that hellness,

I'm still on a high because It will be August tomorrow! New things and experiences are coming ahead. I love surprises. Who knows? August could be a blessed month for everyone. It's the eighth month of the year. Four months to go and rain deers will pass by our window pane again! I can't wait for Christmas!

Broadway Wednesday

The Communication Arts students batch 2007-2008 are in high spirits with their broadway getups. They all look good with their red and black costumes. They are all in a rush to rehearse for their ought-to-be theatrical dance presentation later this afternoon. I want to witness that moment but I don't think I could stay here in school any longer.

The Comm Guild neophytes are really attractions of the day. They really turn heads. They all look gorgeous. If I were to choose among them who's the best dressed, that would be DALE. She looks really good. She dressed up well and she carried her costume strikingly great.

I must be sad now. It's a fun experience dressing up with your friends. I did not join Comm Guild, so I just observe how they turned the hassle situation into a good memory.

Should UP Students Engage in Protests to Exercise Activism?

The students of the University of the Philippines have been known as the youth's voice for several years. UP students have built this legacy to make a change. This act is hat we call activism and it has been maintained as UP's trademark.

When I say activism, I associate it to protest. That's what UP students are known for. They are a group of students organized to speak one voice. They have one mind who wants to fight for the right. The want their opinions to be heard by the ruling authority. This is to bring about change in our society, especially in politics, economics and education.

The last time I knew UP students had a protest was when the UP Administration introduced the 600 per unit tuition fee for the freshmen students. Our student council even invited us to join that endeavor. They wanted to change the administration's decision considering this matter.
Does activism really have something to do with protests? Should UP students engage in rallies to exercise activism?

Expressing what is needed to be blurted out is actually a good thing. They do this through protests so everyone could hear their complaints. This could possibly arouse enthusiasm to those who feel the same. They do this usually in public roads or even in the campus.

They think this vigorous actions like shouting in the streets could solve the crises. Through this, they try to persuade people to change their behavior toward something significant to humanity.

Democracy is what they are trying to point out in this kind of activity. The Philippines is actually a democratic country. Its citizens can exercise it in any way they want.
UP is known for expressing freedom in whatever field. In this way, they could exhibit it and let the whole country know that they are opposing something.

I have just cited the claims of what UP protesters stand for. If you ask me, I would say I don't agree with any of those statements. Let me state my points which could strengthen my stand on the issue.

Activism has nothing to do with protest or confrontation. If UP students want to voice out what they think is right, rallying is not the only way to do it. Activism could mean something else anyway.

I firmly believe that if you want to have what you desire, you must work out on it the best way you can. I don't believe that forcing it on others could help you get a way with it. Violence like overt reactions should not be involved.

There are alternative ways to make everyone see what is going around our environment. If they want to urge people to make a move to develop our society from depression, there are a lot of better ways to do it.

The University of the Philippines produces students that are excellent in different fields. Why not use their talents? Students in communication or broadcasting can create publications about political or other social issues.

Satirical plays or independent films could also be a way to express activism. In this way, you do not only express what you feel, but you also expose your skill.
My next point will be about the effects of protesting. I have never heard of any better changes after most protests.

Before doing one thing, they must first think twice. Will they get what they want when they go rallying? Will the change they desire come about after going to a march? One perfect question would be, are they really on the right track?

When these students ganged up against the UP administration for implementing the tuition fee increase, I could see that they were one-sided.

They just looked at the negative side of the issue. The problem with them is that they did not consider both sides. They were just too eager and enthusiastic to stage a rally and voice out what for them is right.

I believe that before you create an argument out of something, you must know which side is practical. Take it easy and don't rush things.

My last point is about their claim that protesting is an act of freedom given by the school and the country. Yes< I agree. But don't they know about the responsibility coming after freedom or democracy?
It doesn't mean that when you are granted a privilege, you could enjoy it without realizing its effects. This act of freedom causes too much dilemma.

Rallies can cause trouble in the streets. They cause traffic that delays everyone trying to go about their routines. They also leave the streets messy. Noise is another annoying effect. All of could greatly affect the tourism of our country.
Some student activists actually disturb ongoing classes. Students should act as students when they are in the school premises. They are trained to become better citizens and not to become trouble makers.

No matter how hard they try to convince me that protesting does good, I would still stand firm on what I believe. UP students or even other people don't need to protest to express themselves. It is not the only way to prove others that what you believe is right. Remember that violence only causes another conflict.

Instead of spending their time protesting, students should do well in their craft to create a better society. Protests only cause trouble. If they want to fix a problem, they must not do it with something annoying. They can do it peacefully in a creative manner. They could use their skill to express their angst or anything else.