Child's Play: Out of Comfort Zone

Floral Jersey Top: Dorothy Perkins
Shorts: H&M
Bag: from England
Peep Toes: Parisian
Bangles: Thrifted
Studs and Necklace: from England

Pictorial inside UP Ikot again. :-)

Honestly, I’m not comfortable baring my skin that’s why I’m not fond of wearing anything that’s skimpy. For me it’s one way of attracting negative vibe from the opposite sex. It also somehow promotes rude stares from others since the legs, which is one of the most eye-catching parts of a lady, is being exposed. I get on the edge when I’m being glared at. That’s quite ironic for someone who has a huge thing about dressing up. Fashion nowadays has become one way of trying to stand out. I love glamming up, but I’m contended at just being a wall flower. Being invisible is fun! I’m weird, throw rocks at me! But of course, our confidence level gets high sometimes, thus the donning of something out of our comfort zone.

I know I still look like a fashion backward old maiden with that outfit, but at least I managed to show a little skin without getting too conscious. I’m proud of myself, because I’m no longer as conservative as before. ’Nuff said. Now, let me share you the short story behind this ensemble. I had a hard time mixing and matching this getup. I was supposed to wear the top with black shorts to match their black details, but I couldn’t find the latter. I didn’t have time to rummage our tiny closet, because I was rushing for school. So to solve the dilemma, I borrowed my Mom’s skin tone tube undergarment to match with the cream pants, brown bag and flats. Voila! I ditched the black and floral style concept that instant.

Well, yes I did get some malicious gazes on the way but I perfectly know how to retaliate, and besides I know how to move in such a way that I won’t come off as someone who tempts. I dress and, of course, act with the way I want others to treat me. I can say with pride and delight that I’m a decent woman who just wants to explore her fashion ideas by sprucing up. In this outfit’s case, balancing is key. Cover up the upper part if you want a revealing bottom and vice versa, but remember not to expose the body that extreme. Looking like a bombshell is different from looking like a stripper! On that note, I just would like to tell you that we can dress out of our comfort zone, but definitely not out of the bounds. Have a good day, folks! And see you soon… Cosmopolites!

A Sneak Peek at Indonesia

Bali Beaches, Istiqlal Mosque, Prambanan Temple, Sulawesi, Lake Toba -- who would not be captivated by these five must-visit places in Indonesia? These are some of the reasons why there are a great number of people who want to visit the “Wonderful Indonesia”, as stated in their Tourism tagline. I’m guessing everybody has already watched the movie Eat. Pray. Love. In that movie, Bali was destined to be Liz Gilbert’s (Julia Roberts) place for her to find true love. Maybe that explains why many people, including me, are captivated by the sheer beauty of the country.

Many kilometers away from the Philippines lives my new online Indonesian friend, Alif Lam Mim. His religion is Islam. He didn’t tell me about his age, for some reasons I don’t know. I also didn’t bother asking him about it, because he might get uncomfortable with it. I got to know him through the famous Facebook game, Mafia Wars. Alif lives in Kuta City. It is a district in southern Bali. He told me that his hometown is also a favorite tourist spot, especially of people from nearby Australia. As I researched further about his location, I found out that Kuta is actually an ideal place for surfing since it is where beautiful beaches are situated. When I asked whether I can ask him questions about Indonesia’s culture, this was what he told me, “My country has a lot of cultures, unique ones. You will love them a lot.” I got really excited to hear what he has to say about his country’s cultures, because he himself showed me how eager he was to help me out.

The Republic of Indonesia, just like the Philippines, is located in Southeast Asia. Its neighboring countries include Malaysia and Papua New Guinea. This country is one of the diverse nations. India, China, Arabia, The Netherlands and even Portugal greatly influenced the Indonesian culture. According to Alif, they have four major religions namely: Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism and Islam. When I asked whether there are conflicts arising between these four, he said there were some conflicts from small fanatic group of religions but those do not really influence the major religions. The conflict comes from having different idea and ideology. He also added that terrorism made a distance between Hindu and Muslim, in the past.

I didn’t ask more about his religion anymore, because I think it is a very deep and controversial topic. All I know is that Indonesia is the home of the world’s largest Muslim population. I’m more interested about Indonesia’s customs and norms. That part of their culture was where my conversation with Alif revolved. One of the fascinating things that I realized while talking to him was that he was not indignant to talk to me. I’ve also interviewed a Japanese citizen for the sole purpose of comparison. Unlike Alif, Ohara Masahiro was reserved and non-assertive. Despite some misspelled words and wrong English grammar, Alif still managed to convey to me what he really wanted to share. On the other hand, Ohara was very brief and concise in talking to me. He didn’t elaborate on the topic I asked him.

I found this article that I think is very helpful in explaining Alif’s behavior. It says that, “Indonesians have little, if any, sense of personal space or privacy. There is no word in the Indonesian language for ‘privacy’.” According to him, Indonesians love to talk and ask questions, especially. That is their way of showing their friendliness to the one they are socializing to. They think that lengthy discussions are important to achieve and develop respect in a certain relationship. Although they talk more, Alif said that for them, talking is impolite while eating dinner. He said that one can only talk before or after every meal.

Alif also let me know that for Indonesians, touching somebody’s head is a rude act. If you do so, you are being disrespectful. This norm is also similar with that of Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. They believe that patting somebody else’s head is a sign of arrogance, superiority and lack of respect. Speaking of respect, we Filipinos also have similarities with Indonesians, not just with the way we look, but also with the culture. Like Filipinos, Indonesians also value their family the most. For them, family life is very important. Like us, they also have respectful titles for every family member. They don’t also call the older ones just by their names. The father is called bapak, while the mother is ibu. Titles are important in Indonesia, because they indicate status. Indonesians should be addressed by their title followed by their name. One must respect the elders, and the social and political superiors. They also give honorific terms like “tuan” and “nyonya” to the foreigners.

Another remarkable topic that he raised during our chat was the behaviors that are not acceptable in their culture. Alif said that public display of affection is prohibited for them, even when you are already married. There should be no public contact between the opposite sexes, except for their standard greeting – the handshake. On the contrary, people of the same sex can have a customary physical contact. For them, it is very much normal. With this revelation from Alif, we’ve realized that they are also conservative like us. We also abhor brazen display of affection among couples, because our country is generally traditional. Meaning, our ancestors have taught us, especially the women, to act in a way that will give you the respect you deserve.

Alif also told me that when people of the same gender hold hands, nobody would care because for them it is a sign of camaraderie. Here in the Philippines, only the women are allowed to do that. Filipinos are undoubtedly malice, so when two men are caught holding hands, we immediately jump to conclusions that they have a deviant sexual preference. However, we do not have the same case with the Indonesians. For them, whether you are a man or a woman, as long as you are of the same gender, you are not forbidden to have a conventional physical contact.

Because we only had a limited time to chat, we only discussed about those that we’ve mentioned. Alif was also busy with his work in a Broadband company in Indonesia. Despite the short chitchat we had about their country’s culture, I am still grateful for his time because I absolutely learned a lot of notable things about Indonesia. I thought it was a bit hard exchanging a few words with people outside our comfort zone, but I was wrong. With the advent of social-networking sites, we have gained the chance to conveniently connect with wide range of diverse individuals all over the world. Big thanks to Facebook for making that interview possible.

Images in this post are not intended for copyright infringement.

“How Education Shaped Me” (A Cultural Autobiography)

Photo courtesy of  http://www.educationfuture.info/

I have spent my whole life living like a frightened dog. I’ve grown the need to guard my words and actions whenever my parents are around or not. I have always lived my entire life succumbing to what they want though we feel so trapped by their maze. Does that sound like life for you? I bet it’s not, but for me it is. I just hope it won’t carry on until the remaining years of my life.

Childhood has never been fun for me. As a child, I was a silent and a shy type. I never had my own circle of friends. I didn’t know if they don’t like me or it’s just me who didn’t want to mingle with them. Unlike any other kid, friendship for me was unimportant. For me it was something I could live without.

I remember my teacher in Kinder 2 telling my mother that I was too fond of drawing even in class. I drew thin princesses, flowers and mansions even when recess and play time. I couldn’t stand not doing it even for a short while. I didn’t feel the need to go out of the classroom and run around the play ground.

Drawing different things was like my outlet and shock absorber. It helps me release all my anxieties as a child. In my pieces of drawing, I was a princess who has many friends. I had a beautiful and classy name, and everyone wants to be with me. I lived in a castle with my wealthy family. Those were my fantasies drawn in my pad papers and notebooks. It used to be my source of joy. I loved it that much that I didn't want to do anything else aside from it. It’s like my pieces were as big as life. Everything in it felt surreal. It made my life easier despite my apprehensions as a loner and a late bloomer.

Growing up at home was difficult for me. It feels as if I was too contained within the four walls of our house. We weren't allowed to go out from the borders of our lot. I didn’t even have any friends from the neighborhood. I grew accustomed being a home body. I guess it will never be removed from me anymore. That was why the only hobby I had as a child was drawing and nothing else.

When I was young, I was taught to honor God and do things according to His will. I studied in a seventh day Adventist academy from Kinder until Grade 4. Basically, I spent my childhood days there. We were always tasked to familiarize different Bible characters and their exemplifying stories. My teachers told us the wonders of God, and that we should obey His commandments.

I belong in a Christian home. My mother brought up my sisters and me the conservative and Godly way. Every Sunday, we had to wake up early and get ourselves ready by nine for the praise and worship service, as we call it. We were also invited to join the Sunday school which I also learned to love. I was one of those who knew a lot about Bible facts. For that, our teacher always gave me due recognition which gave me a chance to be number one in children’s Sunday school.

Unlike in church, I wasn't number one at school until my mother decided to transfer me to a public school. I didn't like that idea because of some factors. I didn’t want to be away from those few kids, I considered as friends. I also despise public schools back then because I thought they were below average. Eventually, I still gave in because I didn’t have any control over those matters.

The new school was far from the old school I used to attend to. It was grassy, and the buildings looked too old. I didn’t like the facilities. I remember when our adviser told my mother that we were required to clean our classrooms and gardens every morning. I hated it because we were not like that in private school. That was the first time I had to hold a “bolo”. Not just even holding it, I had to use it too. We had to dig and cultivate soil for our garden. We were not allowed to rest when it’s still time to clean. That’s the only ting I hate in public elementary schools.

To my surprise, that school proved me wrong. As days passed, I learned that it was well-known in producing successful students. They always sent delegates in competitions who were constant winners. From that school, I was trained how to write a composition. One of the best teachers in that school even offered me a position in our school paper. That was one of the most memorable days of my life as a student. Se gave me a chance to prove myself from the field I never thought I would belong to- journalism.

In the private school attended, I was just nothing but in the public school used to despise, I was one of the best. They honed and developed my skills as a writer. They let me join press conferences and quiz shows. I am proud to say that I was always one of the winners, not to mention being a champion. I learned a lot of thins from that school. Things that were not just spoon-fed, but things I learned by myself. Because of those achievements, I became the class valedictorian. My classmates even called me “The Walking Dictionary” for being the constant highest in spelling quizzes.

I could really say I grew up striving for achievements. I was not born with a golden spoon, but I was proud to have been gifted with such knowledge and skills which made me excel in class. My classmates in my old school were still the same old them while I exceeded and came pass their way. Right then I thought that I may not be as rich as them but I was more functional than them. It’s pretty obvious that I really had that insecure way of thinking, but I admit that it’s true.

As I grew up, I became insecure with what others had that I didn’t have. I was a silent girl that’s why I had a lot of insecurities. I always wanted to speak confidently but unfortunately, I wasn’t trained to be that way. I dreamed of becoming part of a debating team but again I was not blessed to have wit. Fro the past years, I have always been tagged as the quiet and mysterious girl. It still hasn’t changed until now, and I think it’s not quite good.

Though others may find it hard, I had learned to love remaining a private person. I don’t go out with friends. I don’t hang out to loud places. I don’t have any vice too. I am a conservative person, but I would like to believe that I have a mature mind. I am open to different things. I don’t even hesitate to talk about sensitive matters.

I guess it’s true that I am truly a deviant of my family. Among my sisters, I am the only one who openly disagrees with what my parents make of us. I don’t like the way they handle us. They are too strict, not to let us out even when we needed it especially at school. I have been disobeying them for the past years without them knowing about it. It may be so mean but I just grew tires of their rules.

My parents began not to give high expectations on me when I reached high school. I stopped being an achiever. I wasn’t part of the honor students, though I luckily became part of the first section. I realized that my time really passes, that’s why I eventually gave up. I didn’t become part of the limelight until I was in 4th year.

In college, I became more rebellious that I even joined a sorority though I was not allowed to. The moment I said yes to my masters made a turning point in my life. I became more aggressive with the way I deal with my parents. That’s what I got from mingling with my former clique- being violent. Because of them, I was about to try some vices like smoking, which I’m not really used to. It was from them where I learned being intense with the way I expressed my opinions and grieves. I tend to say things that are beyond the boundaries of what is accepted by the many.

However, that aggressiveness I used to have, mellowed down when issues came up with my membership in that organization. I began to lose my self-esteem again because everybody started to hate me and call me names. That was the worst situation I ever encountered. I had an inconsistent type of culture which made my identity crises a lot more difficult to deal with. It’s hard because I jumped from one culture to another trying to find out which of them I feel sincerely belong.

What I like most about being in UP is that, everything has that certain depth. It’s not just superficial display only. There are always deeper reasons why something happens. In UP, I learned to use my logic as much as possible especially in looking at the intricacies of a concept or situation. A statement or explanation is not sufficient enough if it’s done without rationality.

The worst thing in UP is that, I developed the character of being snobbish especially to non-UP students. I have the tendency to diminish them. Even the freshmen are also victims of this kind of trait. We make them feel that they should respect the upper class men. I think it’s but normal for UP students to behave that way. We try to live what are expected of us. They overestimate us, and so we try to prove them right. It’s wrong but has already become part of my culture as a UP student.

Despite that UP character, there’s still that factor that put me to my proper place, it’s my fear. I get intimidated with UP professors. It’s like I don’t know anything sensible whenever they are in front, speaking about different things that are new to me. Back in high school, I was one of the best writers, but now I think I am one of the worst. I can’t help but sell myself short whenever I encounter professors in UP. They’re really up there, and I’m down here. Maybe that’s the reason why I look down on others, because I also look down on myself when I’m in UP.

There really are different things that best define my culture. I have learned a good number of values at home and in church, though I also lost some outside those areas. I also admit that I have gained maturity when I began to get along with diverse personalities, and I think it’s one of the good things I am proud of. I may look sensitive and reserved, but actually I’m not. I have gone through instances that sharpened and shaped the way I am now.