“What Would Penis Do?”

I knew by then that this video from Lev Yilmaz is going to be as fun as the others, also from him. But I would admit that when I first heard of the title of this video from our professor, I panicked. I might not be able to watch this at home because I thought my mother is not that open to things about sex and penises. I asked my friend if the video is sensual, and she said it's not so I watched it home secretly wishing my parents won't see the vulgar title.

If you ask me, I agree with the Lev's statement “Guys doesn't have entire freewill as he has three governing factions: the heart, the mind, and the penis.” I don't think boys do things only from their mind as some psychologists claim. They say men use their mind frequently as women use their heart. Yes, it's true, but I think men's mind are more concerned with matters about sex, which we can say the job of the penis.

Men are really vulnerable to sex. From an outsider's point of view, I think sex for them is something they can't live without. They talk about it a lot, showing that they desire for it. If they could live with the one and only girl in the world, but with an alien-looking face, I bet they would still have sex with that girl. That's what I assume about men in terms of sex. I know it's quite offending in a sense, so I give you my apologies.

It really is true that some men brag about their sex adventures with different girls. I read it in a magazine that men don't feel like a real men if they haven't experienced having sex with many girls. They even kiss-and-tell it to their male friends to let them know they have just become a real men by having sex with such overwhelming number of women.

I should at least be thankful to that five-letter word because if it's not for it, I wouldn't be born in this world. I feel ashamed saying the word, but it's true. Just consider it as a metonymy. Lev Yilmaz's video opens our mind to views that are both practical and realistic. This video shows us that there are a lot of factors to consider when it comes with our dealings with the opposite sex, or even to the same sex.

I suggest you watch other videos from Lev's Tales of Mere Existence such as Procrastination, Arrogance and Confidence, A Typical Conversation with my Mom, How to Break Up, Boyfriends I Have Been, How I Found Out About Girls, and many more fun videos. He now has five new videos for 2011, like How to Get Out of a Rut and Times I Tried to be a Womanizer. Check out his homepage Ingredient X Entertainment and YouTube link, here

The video used in this post is not intended for copyright infringement.

How the Chips Fall

Ethics is all about the difference between what is right or wrong, good or bad, virtuous or vicious. Ethics has a vital role in the foundation of building a society. People usually associate ethics with morality, because when we adapt societal norms we are considered ethical. If we don’t conform to the behavior of a group, we are regarded as unethical. To lessen or even eradicate the instances of not conforming to the norms, different professional groups have created their Code of Ethics.
The most unethical behavior usually happens in areas like government, law, media, and medicine and in business. Ethics is significant in all areas of business. From sales and marketing, to product development and customer service, and most especially in, finance. Business Ethics is a form of the art of applied ethics that examines ethical principles and moral or ethical problems that can arise in business environment. It deals with issues regarding the moral and ethical rights, duties and corporate governance between a company and its shareholders, employees, customers, media, government, suppliers and dealers (Ezine Articles, 2010).
In line with Business Ethics, there is this company called Mr. Potato Chips which has been well-respected manufacturer for years. Recently the company expanded into new markets to assure a competitive advantage. In keeping with these objectives, a policy has been instigated which reduces the finished products' inventory to a rock-bottom level each June 30th, which is the end of the company's fiscal year. They say, the lower the inventory, the less money is tied up. This is an ethical dilemma for the side of the new production, Jane. With this situation, she predicts the company’s lost sales.
If I were Jane, I would question the wisdom of the policy. I believe that being part of the company, I also have the right to voice out what I think is right and just. As said by Joe Paterno, “Success without honor is an unseasoned dish. It will satisfy your hunger, but won't taste good.” In business world the organization's culture sets standards for determining the difference between good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair.
I believe there is always a good way or perfect timing in airing a grief. Not being argumentative and angry may be a good way in raising such concern. Managers like Jane should lead by example. It is the first step in fostering a culture of ethical behavior in business sectors.
A manager should treat his employees, customers, shareholders, government, media and society in an honest and fair way by knowing the difference between right or wrong and choosing what is right, this is the foundation of ethical decision making (Ezine Articles, 2010).
In order to make one company successful, it is important to practice proper communication especially in dealing with ethical dilemmas like this. If I were Jane, I would think of practical solutions to the problem and present it to the head managers in a calm and sympathetic manner. Spoken or direct communication is crucial when crucial when topics are highly needed to be discussed. It allows everyone to bounce off ideas, discuss issues and come up with solutions.
Business Executive R. Holland wrote, "It is perfectly possible to make a decent living without compromising the integrity of the company or the individual. Quite apart from the issues of rightness and wrongness, the fact is that ethical behavior in business serves the individual and the enterprise much better in long run," he added (Ezine Articles, 2010).
Good ethics is good business. Why should companies resort to unethical ways when they can still be successful, or even more successful, in an ethical way of running a business? Ethics should always be a leading consideration in our customs in order to have a unified and morally sound approach in doing business.

The Keys to Credibility and Objectivity (Intonation and Inflection)

In delivering news reports, Ted Failon emphasizes key words on specific news by using rising intonation. This could be because he wants to capture the attention of the viewers and listeners. This is an excerpt from the material where he used rising intonation on specific words. These words are important terms of the news article that’s why they are needed to be stressed.

“Mahigpit na minomonitor ngayon ng mga coast guards ang karagatan ng Limay, Bataan. Nadiskubre na intact pa rin o hindi pa tumatagas ang liquefied petroleum gas at gasoline mula sa lumubog na dalawang tanker doon. At dahil mapanganib ito, may panawagan ang local na pamahalaan. At live mula sa Limay, Bataan, nagpapatrol si Ron Gagalac, Ron...” In this part, he raised his intonation in the place Bataan, in the words gas, pamahalaan and live.

Ted Failon’s intonational pattern enables the program’s audience to fully comprehend the content of the news. It aids us physically and mentally -- Physically, because we hear the words and utterances clearly; and mentally, because we understand the message. Here’s another excerpt from the material. This time, Ted Failon used upward inflection more often on the conjunctions like kasi, kung and the noun, crew. This is to emphasize the emotional state of the fishermen because of the calamity brought about by the recklessness of the cargo vessel crew.

“Maraming Salamat, Ron Gagalac. Samantala, nais papanagutin ng mga mangingisda ang may-ari ng cargo vessel na nakabangga sa kanilang mga bangka noong kasgsagan ng bagyong Basyang. Naiwasan daw kasi sana ang trahedya kung naging alerto ang crew ng mga barko. At live mula sa Mariveles, Bataan nagpapatrol, Ryan Chua, Ryan...”

On the other hand, 24 Oras’ Mike Enriquez deliver news report by being monotonous on the beginning and middle part of the sentence, and by using upward inflection on the last part. He does this style, maybe because he wants to be known for his unique voice in reporting. His pitch change occurs at the end of the sentence. So far, no other reporters speak like he does. Here’s an excerpt where he raised his tone on the “-TE” part of Cavite.

“Ayon naman sa Petron, kontrolado na ang OIL spill, at patuloy silang gumagawa ng paraan para tuluyan ng matapalan ang tagas. Nakatutok si Jun Veneracion, Live mula sa Cavite, Jun.”

It is very noticeable that Mike Enriquez plays with his intonation all the time. He says one word in a way that is not done by normal speakers. This creates an impression that is mostly negative on Mike’s part. People focus more on his voice rather than his report. Here’s an excerpt where he used upward inflection the “-TOK” part of “Nakatutok”, and where he played with his intonation on the word “Lalawigan.”

“Samantala, puspusan ang salvaging operation sa Mariveles, Bataan. Merong sumadsad na barko doon. Meron ding malaking barge na nakabangga sa ilang mga Bangkang pangisda noong kasagsagan ng Bagyong Basyang. Msangsang na amoy ang isa sa mga kalaban ng mga tauhan ng coast guard. Nakatutok si Raffy Time Live mula sa LalawiGan ng Bataan.. Raffy.”

Between the two anchors, Ted Failon is more objective in reporting news. When he speaks, an audience wouldn’t feel even a hint of emotion. He just delivered news straight and passive. While on Mike Enriquez’ way of reporting, you would know that he is in favor on news or not by the way he stresses some ideas. His voice becomes the focal point of the news report and not the content itself.

Ever After

The specific situation that affected Ever After’s protagonist, Danielle, was the fact that she was the sole daughter of a deceased French nobleman, and yet she was treated as a servant by her stepmother. Instead of getting what is due to her, Danielle chose to serve her horrible family. Her agony started when her father died. Luck went well with her stepmother, Rodmilla and her two step sisters Marguerite and Jacqueline. The three ruled the dead Baron’s house instead of Danielle. She was made to sleep in a dirty room where servants usually live. She was made to cook breakfast, clean the house, and many more chores. What’s worst is that, Rodmilla and Marguerite often take advantage of her kindness. One good thing is that, she has a kind stepsister, Jacqueline. (Power of Situation)

Since Danielle somehow grew up to be a happy and strong-willed lady, she managed to at least make her life easy. She got along well with their servants who inspired her, and took good care of her. One day, she met the handsome Prince Henry who was fleeing an arranged marriage. She got the Prince’s interest when she pretended to be a courtier to save a servant from being taken to another land. Since then, they met in secrecy, and captured each other’s hearts. That’s how Danielle made her life exciting despite the hardship her stepmother and sister brought about in her life. (Power of the Person)

Danielle interpreted the situation she was into as something that she could get through no matter what. She was not a timid girl at all, although we thought at first that she’s a girl that can easily be deceived. The best part of her being a firm lady was when she punched her bad step sister in the face to show her anger. That moment was interesting because that was the time when she really showed her real emotions towards the maltreatment of the trio to her. Another thing is that besides her beloved father gone, she still displayed a positive outlook. In that way, she overcame all the difficulties she encountered in her wicked family. (Power of Cognition)

What I learned from this movie is that we should show good character no matter how hard the situation is. We should not forget that there is always a silver lining. We must remember that we are not always on top, in the same way that we are not always at the bottom. No matter how bad others may treat us, we must always stay gentle. But we should also bear in mind that we also have the right to defend ourselves when the going gets rough.

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City of God

The movie, City of God, shows the two cities as presented by St. Augustine in his book of the same title: The Earthly and Heavenly City of God. Though not necessarily a city, the movie conveys the concept or representation of these two cities in the film. The earthly city evokes love of self and contempt of God. It seeks glory from men, and is lifted up by its own glory. Leaders in this kind of city rule just because they love to rule. They seek personal advantage and they have high regard on their own wisdom. They are seized by pride. This is what the movie, City of God is all about.

This movie is actually a series of short stories which revolves on a group of interrelated personalities of the narrator's generation in the city called, City of God. It portrays the underlying madness of this Brazilian slum life of poverty, drugs, and violence. Senseless killings have been done all over the City of God making it a very hazardous place for innocent people. What’s disturbing is that, the gangsters are training kids to kill, making them lose their conscience and gullibility because they have become unaware of the importance of life.

The homicidal, mad drug lord, Little Zee has a strong lust for power. He kills people to show his authority, and that the society will fear him. According to St. Augustine, the founder of the earthly city was a fratricide; Romulus killed Remus and found the republic. The Earthly City is divided by wars and victories that is life destroying and short-lived. Victory for Little Zee involves pride. He attains success when he destroys lives and gains something for himself in return. He thinks that the only way to achieve more power is when the other one who covets for it is gotten rid of. As what St. Augustine said, “By this crime the empire was made larger, but inferior, while otherwise it would have been less, but better.”

This movie also shows how the earthly city is divided against itself, the wicked against the wicked. Little Zee had a revenge feud involving "Knockout Ned" who’s girlfriend has been raped and his brother and father has been killed. At first, Ned joined another ferocious and raging group to take revenge for the people close to him who had been killed by Little Zee. "Knockout Ned" even imposed “no killing of innocent people” rule. But then later on, he broke his own rule when he killed one man in a bank. He said it was an exception. In the next attacks, as what the narrator said, the exception becomes the rule.

Little Zee and “Knockout Ned” had slain many people because of their wild and rowdy assaults towards each other. Both wanted to own the ability to influence solely in the City of God. Both desired for greater supremacy and command. In the end, justice prevailed among “Knockout Ned” and Little Zee because they were both killed during the police encounter. But violence still carried on when the kids learned to kill and they even wanted to take over Zee’s drug-dealing business.

The film City of God opens our eyes from possible hostility and brutality. Because of it, I learned to appreciate the Heavenly City, wherein the love of God governs the people. The Lord is glorified. The Heavenly City is ruled by leaders and everyone serve one another with love. I have learned to value the Heavenly City, wherein civil peace is well-ordered among citizens.

Conquering Just One: Samsara

Samsara is a spiritual and at the same time, a sensual film which centers on the desire and destiny of a man of sacred mental disciplines who is struggling to attain enlightenment by renouncing mundane aspirations and yearning. What’s striking about this movie is that, the viewers focus more on Tashi’s trials on giving up everything around him to reach Nirvana, forgetting about what sacrifices her wife, Pema, might have to do just to keep her love and life with him and their son.

As stated in the documentary The Life of the Buddha, one key cause of painfulness is our demanding desire. When Tashi began to experience profound sexual awakening because of a girl named, Pema, he also went through some distressing and unpleasant moments. Because of his unrelenting desire to have a sexual affair with Pema, he decided to forsake the restrictions of being a celibate by leaving his spiritual life behind. His pet dog even left him the moment he chose to come in contact with the world. He also lived through some sufferings like toiling for his family. His patience was even tested by people who wanted to afflict his life.

In the latter part of the story, Apo sent a letter for Tashi. One memorable and stirring hypothetical question he raised was, “What is more important: satisfying one thousand desires, or conquering just one?” If I were to answer this, I would say I would want to satisfy one thousand desires, for honesty’s sake. But of course, I know it’s always best to think deeply and seriously on what desire among those one thousand is more important. It’s not good to have all those desires satisfied, but still you know that deep down you are not contented with what you have. We must know what one thing really makes us feel complete and blissful, that even without any other things, we are still unfathomably delighted.

Samsara has a lot of metaphors that made our mind ponder. One of the metaphors that I like the most was the one written in a stone tablet in the desert, which says: How can you prevent a drop of water from ever drying up? The answer is to put it in the sea. I never thought of it. Another riddle says: What will happen to a twig if it’s thrown to the river? The answer is it will go with the flow until it gets to the ocean. Those are just simple questions that require simple answers. And yet, we think too hard that we tend to forget the little details that might help us figure things out.

If I were to choose for the continuation of the story, I would want Tashi to return to Pema. He shouldn’t just leave his wife and his son just for his selfish reason of being enlightened. He left them without a trace of where he will be, and an explanation of why he had to do it. That’s not acceptable. It’s not right to shift from one desire to another just because you feel like going back again. Tashi should not be egocentric. He must bear in mind that he should also be mindful of what others might feel towards his decisions, not just being aware of what his body wants to do.

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Tragical Disco Shindig (Groupthink)

Ozone Disco Location (Google Image)

There are mainly four groups who were at stake for the haunting catastrophe that happened in Ozone Disco more than a decade ago: The Quezon City Local Government Unit Business Bureau, the Bureau of Fire Protection, the City Engineer’s Office and owners and managers of Westwood Entertainment. The Business Bureau of Quezon City LGU allowed Ozone Disco a certificate of annual inspection back in 1996 although the owners submitted inadequate and improper legal documents. The Bureau of Fire Protection claimed that they haven’t done any building inspection to the said club because according to them, Ozone Disco’s building permit has been expired and hasn’t been renewed. The City Engineers Office, specifically the one responsible for the construction of Ozone Disco, Engr. Alfredo Macapugay, was also sued for not doing proper floor plan and structure for the said building. Engr. Macapugay was also one of those condemned with the same fault for the Manor Hotel tragedy. The last group with the most blame is the owners and managers of Ozone Disco. Investigation showed that the corporation’s president and treasurer, Hermilo Ocampo and Roberto Ng failed to provide proper fire exits and extinguishers inside the establishment. The high courts concluded that the structure has not passed the building code standards.

These groups have clearly proves some symptoms of groupthink. Since we were not there in the actual tragedy, we can’t really say what has happened behind our eyes. But we can assume that these groups have, in some way, committed illusion of invulnerability, collective rationalization, and self-appointed ‘mindguards’. Ozone Disco was actually once a jazz club named “Birdland”. Pictures show that the establishment was just meant for a few number of people only. For a specific number, it can be occupied by 35 guests only. There are a lot of possible factors why the owners tolerated having ten times more than the expected. One could be they couldn’t say no to the good luck. In businesses like bars and restaurants, more people mean more money. It was one of the peak seasons when the incident happened. It was March, and everyone was immensely enjoying the end of classes. Maybe, at that moment they thought that nothing would happen if they accommodate 350 people in a very small area even though they probably knew that overloading can really cause harm. They have also overlooked many things in their building, for an instance, they overloaded it with neon lights and there were many receipts found placed on the Ozone Disco’s ceiling, which they say possibly caused the fire to spread fast.

It’s impossible that nobody has ever warned the operators of Ozone Disco about their faulty decisions from the beginning. With just one look, one can really say their building is not meant to be constructed in that location in Timog Avenue corner Tomas Morato. People who visited the club may have suggested some things that can be further improved by the management. The offices involved have also surely given them notices and precautions to prevent future damage. Perhaps, the owners themselves knew that they really had to do something to develop the improprieties of the Ozone Disco.

Some members of the management may also knew about the mistakes they’ve committed but maybe, they just didn’t want other members to know about some ideas or information that may eventually lead to some contradictions. Maybe they didn’t want their plans and most importantly, their cohesiveness to be ruined by what they might think as minor drawbacks. Overlooking even the tiniest of details about the Ozone Disco may or may not be deliberate. But one thing’s for sure, no matter how hard they tried to blame one another and neglecting some particulars. Their words are not enough to give back the life of the poor young people. The fiasco has already passed. That tragical disco shindig will haunt them…for life.

Eiga Sai: Japanese Movie “Mind Game”

The Japanese Film, Mind Game, is about the struggling comic artist Robin Nishi in his adventure with his object of affection Myon and her sister, Yan. This movie showed how Nishi fought off death to escape from the Yakuza with his companions.

What I like most about this film is that the action scenes carried me away. I like the scene where there was that high- speed auto chase between Nishi and the Yakuzas. Though I never really appreciate anime that much, this film caught my attention.

I actually watched The Milk Woman but I got sick with drama. Mind Game is good if you want a hearty laugh in the cinema. There were scenes that are too blunt but good enough they were only animated.

I knew Japanese animators as very detailed when it comes to the heroine’s physical appearance. Maybe they wanted to illustrate the fantasy woman of the hero as someone in good, better yet, sexy and sensual shape. That was why in this film, Myon was embodied as a girl with an emphasized huge breasts that are not appropriate for her slim body built.

Maybe the reason why Japanese animators give off their fantasies in their animations is because Japanese ladies are skinny and anorexic to look it. They are too thin to be called as sexy goddess that makes every male lead’s imagination and romance run wild.

I also approved the way this film portrayed sex when Nishi and Myon made love. It was so funny because they associated it with just normal things to depict the rise and fall, without displaying the actual sex too much.

They related the in and out throwing of charcoals in a fire place to the in and out motion of the penis to the vagina. They also related the orgasm to the fast-paced train falling all the way down a cliff.

Those amusing scenes are only superficial. What this film wants to tell us is controlling one’s destiny and realizing what our true happiness is. This film wants us to know that we should work hard on going out from the darkness and hardships, and not to lose hope whenever we feel stranded.

Critical Analysis on My Papa's Waltz

My Papa's Waltz is a poem created by an award-winning poet, Theodore Roethke. It contains four stanzas that have four lines each. It consists of a rhyme scheme. A child is the one who speaks in the poem.

The child talks about his father who got drunk. The first line shows us that the father is really that intoxicated. It is because when someone drinks a little liquor, it doesn't really affect the breath that much. But the father in the poem has already drunk too much. It is supported by the second line, “Could make a small boy dizzy.”

What plays a big impact on the first line is actually the whiskey. Drinking just a shot of it could make you a bit tipsy. it is a strong, distilled liquor made from grain. maybe the reason why the author used whiskey as the liquor drunk by the father, is that it is one of the most popular of alcoholic beverages.

But I hung on like death. this line connotes the passivity of the child towards his father. the child's passive reaction could mean that he's afraid that his father might get so irritated if he reacts. Of course, when someone's full of alcohol intake, he could do something out of his control. He could be that violent. the child just became watchful of his actions to get rid of his father's wrath. One more reason could be that the child has already gotten used to his drunkard father. he knew then what would be the scenario whenever his father gets drunk.

The child's passivity is associated with death basically because a corpse doesn't have life anymore. A dead person is already passive, just like the child. He doesn't have the strength to retaliate.

Such waltzing was not easy. With this line, we could anticipate that something could be going on, aside from the father being drunk. it can be noticed that the author uses irony.

Based on context, the author used the dance waltz to indicate that the father might have gotten that intense because of the whiskey. The father's situation might have led him to a terrible agitation to the point of losing his self-control. I can picture out that because Roethke used waltz as an action, the father abused his child by dragging or pushing or whatever violent acts that are somewhat similar to the actions when doing waltz.

History says that waltz was once criticized and opposed to by moralists because of its closer hold and rapid turning movements. religious orders also regarded it as vulgar and sinful. An English magazine Belgravia also stated that waltz is a wicked dance.

Such notion about waltz might be the reason why Roethke decided to incorporate the said dance in his poem. The dance was used as the object of irony. It made readers picture out the metaphor involved. It is not actually used as vague, instead it adds up a sense of thrill among the readers.

The second stanza of the poem begins with the metaphorical description of what the father's drunkenness turned out to be. We romped until the pans slid from the kitchen shelf. That clearly showed the violence involved. One can not destroy anything around if he doesn't become so wild.

The line also showed the dominance of the father. The child and his mother did not look up to him, instead they fear him. Maybe they're thinking that they should just stay calm as possible. If they freak out, the man of their house could kill them. This is supported by the line, “My mother's countenance could not unfrown itself.”

If the mother fights back, then this could all the more be the reason to trigger the father's agitation. the mother showed her fear towards her husband who turned out to be abusive.

The third stanza elaborates more on the physical abuse done by the father to his child. The hand that held my wrist was battered in one knuckle. At every step you missed my right ear scraped a buckle. these lines describe the harsh acts received by the child. By these lines, we could say that there is a child abuse happening. This could eventually traumatize the child at risk.

Just like the third stanza, the last one also talks about the physical violence. the harm done by the father includes hitting the child's head until they reached the bed room. Since I assumed that the child in this poem is a boy, it could be that the father still beats the child until it already hurts that much. Clinging to something when you're totally hurt is natural among many of us. for an instance, when you're tooth is being removed of course it will hurt a lot especially without anaesthesia. You tend to cling to something nearby or hold something tighter to release pain or tension. I could say that the child must be very by then since he clings to his father's shirt.

If my assumption is wrong, and the child is a girl, the last two lines might be of the sexual abuse part. The word bed connotes something sensual. It is undeniable that whenever we hear the word bed, we associate it with sex.

With the constant reading of this poem, I guess i can conclude that this poem is a commentary on child abuse. This is a poem that speaks for those abused children. It is a dramatic poem that helps us understand the situation of these children. It makes us feel the grief of those suffering abuse.

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Confrontation of Mother and Daughter on a Suspicion

Photo courtesy of Look for Diagnosis

Confrontation of Mother and Daughter on a Suspicion

(An Analysis Using Interpersonal Deception Theory and Interactional View)

by Katrina Angela C. Castro

COMA101-A

Prof. Antonio Salvador S. de Veyra

March 27, 2008

The Confrontation

The situation is about the confrontation my mother and I had. It happened last year of July when she found out something that I did which she completely disagreed on. She discovered that i joined a sorority because of some apparent evidences.

I stayed in the dorm until Sunday. I was supposed to go home on a Friday. But because our final initiation rites was scheduled on a Saturday, I decided not to go home and to stay in the dorm for two weeks. I tried so hard not to let my parents know about what I was doing.

The week before, I even lied to my parents that I would not be going home because of make-up classes on that Saturday and on Monday, the week after. That was really a hard thing to do-to lie. I was so worried that they might find out that I was just making excuses.

It was already Sunday and I knew very well that my mother got so worried about me because she kept on trying to call me through my friend's number. She wanted me to go home although I already told her that I would be having make-up classes on a Saturday and on Monday, the week after.

My fault was, I texted my mother that I was sick. That was the excuse I made so that i would not be able to go home. But because of that, my mother got even more worried about me. She decide to get me.

I was so weak then because of the bruises I got. I couldn't walk well. I didn't know how to hide my weak state. Before my mother came, I practiced to walk normally so she wouldn't notice. I struggled but I didn't mind it. I was so focused on how to hide that nervousness I was feeling then. I was afraid that it may cause the leak.

When she arrived with my sister, I had a feeling that my mother noticed something was wrong about me. She didn't even speak a word to me. I knew that she was suspicious about the red marks n my face. They were slap marks.

When we reached home, my mother brought me to her room. I was struck with her immediate question, “Nag-apil ka ug sorority noh?” I didn't know how to deny it so I answered, “Ayaw lang saba kay papa ma.”

My father noticed the tension and asked what happened. My mother cried and said, “Tan-awa unsa ilang gihimo sa imong anak!” She pulled my pants down and saw the bruises on my torso.

Everyone in the house was so emotional. I knew that I disappointed my family that much. All of us cried. My parents were mad at me for disobeying and lying to them.

The problem I made affected the whole family. Different realizations and solutions were made after what happened.

The Analysis

Disobedience was the core element why the dilemma took place between my mother as the respondent and I as the deceiver. The deception resulted to different outcomes that affected me and my whole family. The situation involves the Interpersonal Deception Theory and the Interactional View for Analysis.

In the given situation, there are many factors why the deceiver decide to use different strategies of deception. First, the deceiver used concealment by hiding the wrong acts that were actually acts of disobedience.

The moment I decided to join the sorority was the spring board for the actions that happened from the previous actions. I knew very well that my mother doesn't approve to what fraternities and sororities do. She even warned me not to join one. But because of curiosity, I disobeyed her.

It was because of the fear of suspicion why I decided to put everything deliberated. I kept that secret very carefully. I deciphered everything that might happen. Every single detail that I tell my mother was well-rehearsed.

Until instances came that my mother's instincts that there was something going on beyond her knowledge got stronger. Testimonial outside the deceptive communication gave rise to the respondent's suspicion.

In this case, the deceiver used another deception strategy by dodging the issue. This strategy is called equivocation.

Our family friend saw me going with my masters. She told my mother about this. But when she asked me about the matter, I denied everything. I told my mother that they were just merely my friends and I don't have plans of entering their organization.

This could also mean the the deceiver is actually denying. Denial is a defense mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud wherein an individual is encountered with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that the given fact is not true despite of what may be overwhelming evidences.

Denial of fact is a form of denial is where someone avoids a fact by lying. This lying can take the form of an outright falsehood (commission), leaving out certain details in order to tailor a story (omission), or by falsely agreeing to something (assent, also referred to as "yesing" behavior). Someone who is in denial of fact is typically using lies in order to avoid facts that they think may be potentially painful to themselves or others (Wikipedia Free Dictionary).

I had been talking a lot about sororities then. That could be an evidence that I was interested with them. My mother could have noticed that. Maybe she knows about it. She just wanted to prove everything herself.

When the deceiver denied the information, she was actually using defense mechanism. This was used to resolve the conflict between its demands for reality. According to Sigmund Freud, the ego uses this method to distort reality and protect itself from anxiety (Santrock, Adolescence 8th Edition).

When somebody outside the deceptive communication brought information to the respondent, the deceiver tried to sustain her image by denying. The deceiver maintained a relationship with the respondent.

It was not easy for the deceiver to manipulate an information successfully. The deceiver must adjust her behavior in response to feedback from the respondent. Characteristics that reflect strategic intent should be prevented.

Strategic deception demands mental effort. The deceiver consciously deals with the multiple complex tasks. Cognitive overload could cause a deceiver to exhibit a nonstrategic display. It is usually in the form of nonverbal behavior.

When dealing with the questions constantly asked by my mother about her acquired knowledge on the matter, I tried to control the bodily cues that might reveal my lies. If not done carefully, the nonverbal signals might cause leakage.

Nonverbal behavior communicates deception. Some of these nonverbal behavior indicate lying. Research shows that deception is communicated by fairly idiosyncratic behaviors and probably as much as verbal communication. Each person may have his own way of communicating deception which depends on personality, motivation, planning and age (Wilson, Hantz, Hanna. Interpersonal Growth Through Communication).

Nonverbal behaviors such as eye contact, pupil dilation, blinking and silence are often related to deception. These behaviors are also the acts that I couldn't control whenever I lie to my mother.

If I were my mother, I could have been doubting my daughter's statement because of her unusual behavior. I could have noticed that she was just trying to appear natural. But maybe, I just didn't know that my mother actually thought that way. The most evident act that could tell I was lying was my eye contact. Deceivers have less eye contact because it is an involuntary act caused by consciousness and nervousness.

Eye contact communicates meanings. It regulates interpersonal distance as well. Direct eye contact shortens the distance between two people, while less eye contact increases the distance (Wilson, Hantz, Hanna. Interpersonal Growth Through Communication).

Even eye direction communicates. People who tend to look to the right tend to project and turn against others as a defense mechanism. Those who tend to look left tend to repress and deny things as defense mechanism (Wilson, Hantz, Hanna. Interpersonal Growth Through Communication).

In my case, there may be some instances when my mother doubted my words because I found it hard to look her in the eye. I could even be silent for a moment before I answer her questions. It just goes to show that I was not sure with what to say. Truth-tellers say something right away since they don't have something to hide. But because my mother lacked sufficient information or evidence about the matter, she couldn't point out that my behavior was a sign of deception. It could just strengthen her suspicion.

Another strategy that the deceiver used was the act of falsification. It is done by making the respondent believe that something is going on right even though it is not. It is actually creating a fiction. The deceiver makes up a story to cover a certain act of deception.

When I told my mother that we would be having make-up classes, it is falsification. I said that because I wanted to have her permission not to go home for the whole week. But actually I was just trying to mislead her. I made up a story to gain her consent. I knew then that she would not doubt me because it was a class that I would attending and my presence was supposed to be necessary.

With this deception strategy, I tried to accomplish a specific task. It did work well because my mother believed that I would really have make-up classes. She didn't know that I was just making her believe about something unreal.

Eventually, if not right away, the truth will definitely come out no matter how hard one tries to hide it. What deceivers didn't know is that doubters tend to favor indirect methods to gain more information. If the respondent is uncertain about a fact or an action done, he or she might as well initiate some methods that could be used in pointing out that the suspicion he or she has is actually real.

Humans have a persistent expectation that every individual must tell the truth. This is known as “truth bias”. This means that there is an implied social contract that people will be honest with each other. This expectation on honesty is a cognitive heuristic.

The basic tenet that lying is wrong seems to be universal to all cultures, probably because humans are social animals. To live together in a society one must tell the truth to each other. Since even liars agree that lying is wrong, to the extent that they do not wish to be lied to and to lose their way, there are some remarkable special cases in our society: we justify some lies and are resigned to others.

Since truth always prevails, people can come to doubt the honesty of another's words especially is the instincts get even more stronger. My mother is an example of those who are good at sensing deception. She just worked secretly in finding out about the real thing. Bit by bit, even though she didn't ask for them, signs that something was wrong came.

Maybe I wasn't really meant to join a society that my mother have always disapproved of. I disobeyed her so I must face the consequences of leakage. The truth came out because of a simple statement which made my mother get even more bothered about me. Because of that worry, she decided to get me from the dorm and take me home. The leakage started there.

She noticed the slap marks on my face. She also noticed that I couldn't walk well. Her silence made me feel that her suspicion got higher. That made me reciprocate the mood by asking a lot of questions and cracking up some jokes to mislead her suspicion.

It is true that deceivers are usually the ones who are more successful at sensing suspicion than respondents are at spotting deception. This makes the deceivers think of some strategies to eradicate that suspicion. But usually deceivers fail especially if the respondent insists that something is really wrong. The dilemma causes the deceiver's overall performance to decline. The deceiver might as well pull off the deception.

When my mother confronted me with the question, “Nag-apil ka'g sorority noh?” The truth came out immediately even though I didn't even say a single word. The behavior I exhibited outside my conscious control signaled my dishonesty.

Silence is also an indicator that something is true. The physiological form of silence can be identified through momentary silences in communicative interaction like hesitation, stutters, self-correction, deliberate slowing of speech for the purpose of clarification or mental processing of ideas to elaborate on topics of discussion. This silence type is short and combines internal or mental (psychological) factors in to a physical form of external expression. You couldn't do something else to dodge the issue other than to remain silent.

The intense attempt to control that information my mother wanted to confirm can produce too-slick performances if I still lied. Lying causes psychological arousal that include complex cognitive factors that can tax the brain. It often leads to unintentional nonverbal behaviors.

The tension I felt made me numb. I couldn't do anything but to lower my head and not to speak a word. But later on, I cried and told my mother not to tell my father about what I did. This implied something. My mother's instincts were true. I disappointed her and the whole family.

The predominate emotions that accompanied the deceit I did were guilt and anxiety. I destroyed the expectation my family had for me. I exploited the freedom my parents gave me. Realizations occurred to me and my family after the disaster I brought.

This situation gave rise to a new communication theory called The Interactional View. The trouble I did affected my family. This shows that individuals must be understood within the context of family system.

Adolescents like me make a strong push for independence. As the adolescent pursues autonomy, the wise parent relinquishes control in the areas in which the adolescent makes competent decisions and continues to monitor and guide the adolescent in those areas in which the adolescent is not making mature choices.

It is true that parents should neither be punitive nor aloof from their children, but rather should develop rules and be affectionate be them. An important aspect of a parent's role is to monitor the children. This includes supervising their child's choice of social settings, activities and friends.

There is actually a time when parent-adolescent conflict escalates. This is usually because of distanced values and attitudes. Common conflicts are caused by generation gap. But in my case, it was because of disobedience why the conflict between me and my mother builds. I focused myself on searching for independence and identity. I violated the expectations she had for me.

Viewing the family as a system helps us discern the unique aspects of family relationships that dictate which kinds of communication activities are important in a family.

Just as other systems have interdependent parts, so do families. Interdependence suggests that family members affect and are affected by the actions of other members.

I did a dilemma which affected my family. A lot of dominating emotions rose when they found out what happened to me. The moment they saw the physical injury I had, they cried showing that they were all affected. They were even the ones who were so mad to those who did that to me. What one family member says or does affects what another family member may say or do.

That trial we had made us realize many things. We felt that we really need intimate communication within our family to maintain a healthy relationship.

Each family establishes rules and procedures so that the system can maintain balance. The rules may work well as long as the system is relatively stable. Family emergencies as well as other new situations and challenges push the family out of stability and into situations where procedures and rules may no longer fit. The family may then modify goals and change procedures and rules in order to attain balance.

The quality of information taken from outside the family can have a dramatic effect on how family members communicate and relate.

After the confrontation I had with my parents, everything went to a cooler level. They gave me enough support to make me feel better. The took good care of me. That showed my importance to them no matter how drastic the dilemma brought to them.

Family members are sources of support for each other. They help one another feel important and cared for and to get through times of difficulty.

Support messages lead to higher self-esteem, more conformity to the wishes of their parents, higher moral standards and less aggression and antisocial behavior.

Meaningful communication in family relationships requires family members to develop a deeper understanding of each other than they might normally attain in other types of relationship. This kind of understanding is often referred to as empathy. Empathy means seeing a person's world from his or her point of view. It means attempting to understand the person's emotions, too.

Unconditional positive regard is valuing a person for who they are regardless of what they do. It is a powerful tool for promoting self-esteem within a family.

Every individual is stuck with his family for the rest of his life. That was what I felt the moment I had the confrontation with my parents. Even though I felt a little bit mad at them for giving me punishments, I still thought that if I leave them I will be lost. I'm trapped in a no-place-to-go situation. They are the ones who will take me no matter what.

Openness to change is an essential quality of effective family communication.

SOURCES


Santrock, John. Adolescence 8th Edition. New York: Mc Graw Hill Companies Inc., 2001

Martin, Judith. Nakayama, Thomas. Intercultural Communication in Contexts. California: Mayfield Publishing Company, 1997

Wilson, Hantz, Hanna. Interpersonal Growth Through Communication. USA: WM.C Brown Communications Inc., 1985

“Denial”. ONLINE, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denial. March 26, 2008

“Interpersonal Deception Theory”. ONLINE, http://afirstlook.com. March 19, 2008

“The Interactional View”.ONLINE, http://afirstlook.com. March 19, 2008

The Fact of the Matter and the Matter of the Fact

What is the difference between the fact of the matter and the matter of the fact?

That question puzzled the minds of everyone who attended Professor Emeritus Gemino H. Abad's Centennial lecture about sense for language last Friday, February 29, 2008. I would have to agree that it was definitely a mind-boggling one.

To further explain it, let us first define fact and matter. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary states that fact is something that exists or simply, a piece of information while matter is a subject of interest or concern.

We could say that both really have a difference when their order in the sentence structure is interchanged.

The noun fact functions often as an inexact name for an idea, a hope, a wish, or some other vaguely conceived “thing” and often simply as a grammatical placeholder stuck into the sentence until the speaker or writer can figure out a destination and a way to approach it. The fact of the matter means the truth about something that is talked about. It is the actual existence of something of great significance. The main concern of this phrase is the real proposition on a controversial issue. We dig deeper on the fact, not on the matter.

The matter of the fact means the controversies behind the existing knowledge. We delve deeper on the issues a fact is raising. We talk about the circumstances a particular issue has.

Both phrases have their own functions even though they have exactly the same word. But if you change their structure, their meanings will definitely be changed.

Reaction on Andrew Porter's Hole

This image is not intended for copyright infringement.

The short story Hole by Andrew Porter dealt with something deep. Behind the incident that happened to Tal and the narrator, I think there is something hidden we should ponder on. But I don't really think I got the right point on the story.

The story focused in one situation only. It revolved around what happened to Tal when he let the mowing bag slip into the hole. It was his friend who witnessed everything that happened. But even he was not quite sure why it caused him to let the bag slip.

I could see that it was out of fear to his father and brother why Tal struggled to get the bag deep down the hole. It became evident when his friend told him not to worry about it, but still he pursued getting it. Tal was afraid that his father might not trust him again or maybe, because of some other reasons.

This story is interesting because mystery is involved. Everybody loves mystery. It enables us to read the whole story and find out what happens next. That is exactly what makes it good. We craved for the story behind Tal's death and what was really inside the hole.

I appreciate how the writer described every single detail of the scenes which happened hours before and years after Tal's death. It was as if I was the one who witnessed everything. The details were precise and you would not ask for more.

The way the author wrote the story was not really complicated so everybody could understand it.

What I hate most about the story is Tal's stupidity. They already knew how deep the hole is. He even described how creepy it is down there because of those lizards. But despite those reasons, he still went down into the hole. That is an act of stupidity. He didn't think about the risk he was taking. Because of that, he lost his life. Leaving many people confused.

Some might say this story bored them. It could be because it's like a news report elaborated in by a witness in a news magazine. It could be tagged as uninteresting because the story is about one situation only.