Freak on a leash

I am totally freaking out! The Deviance Day is already out. The party's out too. Congratulations to Dora. She did a good job as expected. And now it's time to face the monitor and type everything that need to be written. This is going to be a hell hour. Anniversary speech rules this moment. It's the center of my boggling and confusing mind. But it's fine, at least tomorrow is another big celeb to focus on. Time has really elapsed that fast. Now it's Christmas again. School's out. High time to throw academic worries away.

My Poetic Thoughts

Giving meanings to words or ideas expressed is an innate thing to do. But it's up to us how we want it to be given out. I don't know how you would interpret my poems. But I am hoping that it gets even a kernel of your attention. Please read it. Better yet, critic it. So I would know what to improve.
These are the legendary five poems left in my closet. Some are gone with the wind. They're up to no good anyway. I won't bother much if I couldn't find them. I will be writing better ones. Of course, if they meet the standards of being "better". Oh well, these are my poems. Just the title. I will be posting my poems if I have a whole lot of time.
+ Dusk
+ Unleashing a Silhouette
+ Get Wild
+ Abstract of the Inner Core
+ What the weak has to Offer

Poetic Inclination

I should have known then that I do have an intense passion for poetry and literature. Those things matter a lot to me a great deal. Without those, I wouldn't be so contented just trifling the hours away in solitude.

I meant being alone to turning my thoughts into words. That's how much I love poems. I have written some. I got used to express myself through "abstract" poetry. Some would say they don't understand my work, but that's exactly my point. Not to make people perceive it. Mystery. That's it.

I don't know where on earth have I placed the poems I wrote in high school. They have long been gone. I only have five poems left in my box. And I'm planning to post them here in my blog. Let me know what you think about them.

Whenever I'm all alone with my cynical self, I play with words inside my head. That's how I make the most out of my time. It could be the reason why I'd rather be alone. It's better to be alone than to talk about senseless stuffs with senseless people.

Just a while ago, I realized that poetry is actually a form of literature. I nearly forgot. I almost thought that poetry is apart from literature.

I have to confess that I'm a frustrated poet. Truly. I am. And I don't think I'm good as Sylvia Plath or Izumi Shikibu or Margaret Atwood, but at least I have the heart and will to learn more.

It is true that words denote to things and events we experience. They also connote other things. That's how words unfold many aspects in our lives. That's how powerful words are. Abstract ideas are linked with concrete objects to embody an image. Indeed great.

I write through my experiences. Every detail happening in my life gives me all the more reason to love literature. Through it, the existence of these encounters have been made sensible.

Carl Sandberg once said that poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits. This passage tells us how wonderful poems are. It is stronger than any other language. It is created for the desire to escape the logical. Credits to our literature instructor who shared that idea.

Let me share you this poem from Margaret Atwood. The first time I read it, I was really stricken. I'm amazed by how she conveyed an extremely brutal idea in an extremely condensed form.

You fit into me

like a hook to an eye

a fish hook

an open eye.

I just hope I could also be as great as the greatest poets in our history. Well, I'm not really hoping. I'm dreaming.

Exhibition of the Cynical Surface

I want to be independent. Living in an unconventional way. A Bohemian life I guess. I don't want to worry about anything other than myself. Sounds so selfish right? It's so difficult when at the age you're supposed to enjoy your youth, you've been deprived of it. You know what I mean.
Just so you know, I'm trying to think about how it would be when you work while studying. I want to pay for every expenses I have. I just want to do everything on my own. Own money. Own sweat. Own strife.
I have a lot to whine now. All I want to do at the moment is whine, whine, whine. I hate it when I worry. I am such a big worrywart. Just like a man sandwiched by heaven and hell. I hate it.
Uncanny as it may seem bu I really want to be invisible and become a ghost even for only an hour or two. It would be ideal if I'd become one for a lifetime.
Let me just ask this questions. Why should everyone take life seriously? Why should life be this hard? Why should restrictions be present on everything? Of course I do know why. But I'm tired of being so tied down. I have always been tongue-tied, and it got me sick and weary.
How does it feel to have a laid back lifestyle? Someday, I will feel it too. I will be waiting for that moment. I believe in myself. I know I can succeed. My gain will let e go places. I can do everything my own way..someday. The right thing to do, is to just puke this day away.

Pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world,
and it's people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn,
and rise above the flames
Pardon me. Pardon me.
I'll never be the same.

Melodic Thoughts "I swear"

John Michael Montgomery
I see the questions in your eyes
I know whats weighing on your mind
But you can be sure I know my part
cause Ill stand beside you through the years
Youll only cry those happy tears
And though Ill make mistakes
Ill never break your heart

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
Ill be there
I swear
Like the shadow thats by your side
Ill be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
Ill love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

Ill give you everything I can
Ill build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when theres silver in your hair
You wont have to ask if I still care
cause as time turns the page
My love wont age at all

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
Ill be there
I swear
Like the shadow thats by your side
Ill be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
Ill love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
Ill be there
I swear
Like the shadow thats by your side
Ill be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
Ill love you with every beat of my heart
I swear
I swear

Wedding Melodies on Air

I think it's about time to be open to marriage talks. I'm of legal age already and I'm not a kid anymore. Though my parents still execute a romantic relationship ban to us, I think it's not a bad thing when we look forward to have a married life. That's not a sin.
I know marriage is not only about how you love that person. It's not just having a wonderful feeling after the question has been popped. It's actually about a bond that will tie you to greater responsibilities other than your affair with that someone. Marriage is not just about the wedding. It's not just about lying down on a bed of roses with the one you choose to love forever.
But of course talking about weddings make me shiver for some reasons. Why do brides get so high about weddings? That's of course self-explanatory. that ring, their grooms handed them is bound to change their lives for better or for worse.
Though I'm neither a bride yet nor a bride-to-be, I have listed songs I want to be played while I walk down the aisle. My dream wedding is a garden wedding. the flowers,birds and trees all over could make the ambiance more romantic. I want it to be more like a JS Prom.
Let me share you this list of romantic songs. These are the ones I have always listened to whenever I feel like falling in love. I know it does sound cheesy. Let me get a life.
The list goes like this:
+ Love song by 311
+ Half Life by Duncan Sheik
+ Hanging by a Moment (acoustic) by Lifehouse
+ The Way You Love Me by Boyzone
+ Love of My Life by Southborder
+ Stigmatized by The Calling
+ Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows
+ Close by Paolo Santos
+ I will follow you into the dark by Deathcab for Cutie
+ Vulnerable by Roxette
+ Knock me off my feet by Stevie Wonder
+ Now and Forever by Richard Marx
+ When you believe by Myra
+ Love will find a way OST Lion King 2
+ I swear by John Michael Montgomery
These are just a few of them. Who would be that lucky man? Find out as he reigns supreme. Make me melt.

The pop movie

TWILIGHT directed by Catherine Hardwicke and written by Stephanie Meyer
It's an undeniably good movie. Not to mention the good looking cast. If you don't control yourself, you end up screaming in the cinema with all other fanatics. They got me secretly insane for two hours. Robert Pattison is really handsome, I must say. He played his character well as well as Kristen Stewart. I even imagined I'm Bella Swan. Oh my!
Their lines really got into my spine. I was on the verge og giggling whenever Edward spoke sweet words to Bella. the Cullens are really irresistible characters. They look very good especially the one who acted as the pitcher in their thunderstorm baseball game. Alice, that's the name.
My favorite scene was when the Cullens treated Bella as part of the family by protecting and rescuing her from James.
"You're like a drug to me"
"I feel so over protective with you"

Decode by Paramore OST: Twilight
How can I decide what’s right,
when you’re clouding up my mind?
I can’t win your losing fight
all the time.

Not gonna ever own what’s mine,
when you’re always taking sides.
But you won’t take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.

How did we get here,
when I used to know you so well?
But, how did we get here?
Well, I think I know how.

The truth is hiding in your eyes,
and it’s hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can’t see
what kind of man that you are;
if you’re a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
on my own.
(I’m screaming, “I love you so.”)
On my own.
(My thoughts you can’t decode.)

How did we get here,
when I used to know you so well? (Yeah.)
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how.

Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools
of ourselves.
Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools
of ourselves.

How did we get here,
when I used to know you so well? (Yeah, yeah, yeah!)
Well, How did we get here
when I used to know you so well.
I think I know...
I think I know...

There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.

So Much Adventure

Adventure means fun. It is a kind that gives us natural high. It has that certain factor that yields excitement and amusement. In a sense, it does make us feel young. No wonder why everybody loves it. So do I.

I am talking about the popular extreme sports. You may not see it on the surface, but I also appreciate sports.

Especially the risky ones. If only I could get involved with those things. But I think everything will fall into place when I graduate. I just have to strive and wait.

Too much for that noble detour, it would indeed be great if we delve on adventure through extreme sports. I guess everyone knows how far these sports have come. Before, it had rarely been practiced because of danger. But time revealed its essence. There is of course a down side. Only a few can afford it.

There are a lot of adventure spots in the country. They offer different sports that make one's visit remarkable. As far as I know, CamSur Watersports Complex has been the hottest recently because of wake boarding.

Celebrities and other wealthy people have their stay there. And it seems that it has become a way to elevate their status. Kidding aside. Isolated cases. I'm not saying everyone.

Zip line adventure is also a must do sport. I think there are a lot of spots who have this kind of sports to offer. Though I've never tried it, I still think it's fun. You get to scream your lungs out as you slide along a zip from end to end. This is a sport that requires you the strength to fight your fear of heights.

What I'm looking forward to try soon is wall climbing. I heard Outland Adventure has this. I just don't know how much it does cost, but I don't care much about it. I can always save up for it. I can't wait to try it. Who wants to come with me? Let's climb!

I also want to try bungee jumping. It's really extreme but I like it. I do want to feel what it's like to jump from the highest peak. I think it does feel good. You'll feel your burdens slowly coming out of you as you jump. This sports suits to all those who have too much angst and distress. This as way to let go of all those negative vibe. How about that?

Have you heard about a bride and her groom who went bungee jumping in their wedding ceremony? Cool! it was actually featured on the news.

White Water Rafting also goes along well with people who have oozing love for adventure. It's like fighting with huge rocks and waves at the same time. It's a dangerous one, so don't be that complacent when you try it out. But it's fun, just like any other extreme sports. You just have to be tough.

As of the moment, there is still a one out of three chance that I can do wahtever I like. My family is in a tight budget. These luxury sports are quite unfriendly with our pockets. But it's not yet too soon though. I certainly hope so.

Emotions of Convention

This is a script of a mime our theater instructor required us to write. And I do think it's not good enough. I wrote this the night before the deadline.

Character
A manly man
Scene
A man watches television in a sala. He drinks beer. He sits in a sofa with his legs crossed, and his arms stretched widely. He hands the remote and finds it hard to select a channel. He leans back and goes on from pressing the remote. He gets irritated as he continues. Then he stops. He moves forward rapidly. He laughs. Hard and deep belly laughs as if someone digs a finger into his sides. He laughs until he falls from the sofa. Then he drinks beer and stops. Again, he changes the channel on and on. Then he pauses. He creeps fast towards the corner of the sofa. He raises his legs and brings them closer. He bites his finger nails showing his fear, great fear. he covers his face with his shaking hands. Then he slowly peeps from the spaces between his fingers and clms down instantly. He gets his glass of beer and drinks. When he returns his sight on the television, he spits the beer. He stares long on the TV. His eyes widen with arousal. He bites his lower lip. He wipes hi sweat and slowly stands up. He moves his head from left to right, like what boxers do to get ready. He spreads his arms and does what he sees n TV. He dances. He sways his butt smoothly with pouting lips. He turns round and round beautifully.

Tunes for my Funeral

Death is something that we should also think about at times. But of course it's not something we should look forward to. It's just that we should be prepared when it knocks on our door. I know it's so dreadful just thinking about it, but it's still going to happen no matter how we fear it. It comes like a thief in the night.
I am not afraid to die. Just not now. I would love to be in heave. I have a lot to ask God. I want to know why I ever lived. Death, for me, is not the total end. It's the beginning of another life somewhere else. Better be good. It's not death that's supposed to scare us, it's not being in heaven. Am I saying it right?
You might think I'm a weirdo but I've listed some songs that I want to be played on my funeral. I don't want songs that are too conventional. Those that are "registered songs for death" should be banned now.
Hindi kita malilimutan. Hindi kita pababayaan...da-da-da..That's so used! Those kind of songs get into my nerves. They're so out of the zone.
These songs that I prepared should be played instead. For the people who love me, don't ever ignore this or else I'll haunt you.

+ Fellowship Songs:
- So Close
- Through it All
- Mighty to Save
- Heart of Worship
- Potter's Hands

+ My Favorite Love Songs:
- I'm never Gonna Say Goodbye (Passage)
- Tattoed on My Mind (D'Sound)
- Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)
- All I Ask of You (Phantom of the Opera)
- Music of the Night (Phantom of the Opera)

+ Praise Songs:
- Now that You're Near
- Salvation is Here
- Tell the World
- For All You've Done
- I Wanna Know You Today

Tagalog and Videoke Funeral tunes are prohibited in my funeral. They should vanish and crap out.